Day jokes
I found Jeffrey Epstein’s diary the other day.
The last entry was about 12 years old.
Where can white people cook better than Black people?
On Father’s Day.
I remember my first day back when working at a camp. I was so surprised when the trains arrived.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days?
I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea, just put it in the freezer.
My mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT! Me: What's for dinner? Mom and Dad: Food.
The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD! My brother and sister: What's for dinner? Me: Food ;-;
What do you call field day in Africa?
The Hunger Games.
Back in my day, the chicken dance was where the hen got raped by an angry pack of roosters.
What do I and a brand new chandelier have in common?
One of these days, we’re both gonna be hanging from the ceiling.
Better Friday the 13th than any Monday.
One day I was walking next to a homeless man, and he was eating grass. I asked him if he was hungry. He said yes. I said, "Follow me." You should have seen his face when I showed him my backyard!
I told the ugly friend in my friend group that when they daydream, they shouldn't picture themselves because it will just ruin it.
I told my brother if he wanted to have a wonderful first day of school, then he should put a cookbook in the women's sports section at the school library.
I hate my job—all I do is crush cans all day. It’s soda pressing.
I saw a depressed kid and I gave him a lamp to lighten up his day.
Guys, you shouldn't joke about 9/11.
My great-uncle died that day. Best damn pilot in Iraq.
Chuck Norris has come in contact with Covid.
Covid is now in a 14-day quarantine.
Azibo works 10 hours a day in the sun and is paid 1 euro an hour. Thanks to a fundraiser we will be able to raise the necessary funds to buy a whip to make him work twice as much.
I got fired my first day at the bank. This old lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
I saw a bus the other day with some boy scouts at the back. One of them was having fun getting his knot-tying badge.
One day, a little girl was texting her friend. "Guess what, Angelica!" said the little girl.
"What?" Angelica replied.
"I'm a guy."