Day Jokes

One day the mailman came to drop the mail off then he ask if I could use the bathroom. I said yeah the thing is my mom was coming out the shower naked and when she open the door it was me and the mailman. Now when the mailman sees me he says to me we got something in common we both saw your mom naked.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

The other day my brother hit me I yelled for mom no one responded.

I went to a disco at a seafood restaurant the other day...

... And pulled a mussel

A kid had school today. He was late every single day. He said in his mind, I wish I can go to school again. What happened? Its obvious...... He died :)

A few days after her husband’s death, a widow accidentally receives an email from a man waiting for his wife in Spain. The email reads: „Dearest Wife, just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P. S. It’s really hot down here“.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I’m becoming a litter bit more zebra everyday

one day in roblox someone was arguing with me and they asked me my age. 18. they said that they were twenty two. Me: if your so smart, whats the largest daycare game on roblox? Him:Yo Hair. he said. then he left the game. and a said that is so messed up. actually that bullcrap.

Today was a bitter-sweet day... Bad news is my friend was assaulted, good news is I successfully sneak attacked someone!

why did the sun go to school, to get brighter

hi guys i just found this website i got emailed by joshisboss or something have a great day 👍🏻

One day I went to smoke weed with some Mexicans but they ran away when I asked if they had papers

Given that it's a major guarantee that little boys underwear will be half off at Kmart thanks to the blue light specials, now you know why Michael Jackson likes to loiter around the store all day long.

A man driving along a country road sees a little girl crying next to a cliff. He gets out and says, "Aw, what's the matter little girl?" She points off the cliff and at the bottom is the family car, burning with everyone inside all mangled and dead. The man unbuckles his pants and says, "Little girl, today just ain't your day."

2 women, Jane and Emma, are in the afterlife waiting for judgement. Emma turns to Jane and says "I'm just curious, but how did you die?"

Jane replies with "I burnt to death."

Emma, shocked, responds with "That sounds horrible! What was it like?"

Jane answers with "It first felt really hot and painful, but then I felt nothing. How did you die?"r> Emma replies with "Well, I believed my husband was cheating on me. I decided to leave work early one day to make sure he was loyal. I found him on the phone with his mother. I thought he was hiding something from me so I ran to the bedroom and found nothing. Then I sprinted to the kitchen and didn't find anything. I then jolted outside to the backyard and just found that he hadn't cleaned the pool. I was so tired from running that I fell over into the pool and drowned."

Jane retorts with "Well if you checked the oven neither of us would be here right now."