Day jokes

One day, a little girl was texting her friend. "Guess what, Angelica!" said the little girl.

"What?" Angelica replied.

"I'm a guy."

Azibo works 10 hours a day in the sun and is paid 1 euro an hour. Thanks to a fundraiser we will be able to raise the necessary funds to buy a whip to make him work twice as much.

Guys, you shouldn't joke about 9/11.

My great-uncle died that day. Best damn pilot in Iraq.

I saw a bus the other day with some boy scouts at the back. One of them was having fun getting his knot-tying badge.

You were sad because your grandmother died.

The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.

I got fired my first day at the bank. This old lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

Chuck Norris has come in contact with Covid.

Covid is now in a 14-day quarantine.

I once was playing with my friend and Roblox girlfriend, then one day, they cheated on me. I broke up with her and unfriended him, then I saw my mom and my uncle crying!

Me be like: ;-;

I beat up a deaf kid the other day. I had to. He kept throwing up gang signs.

Went swimming today and peed in the deep end. The lifeguard saw me and blew his whistle so loud I almost fell in.

Sally had 69 boobs, which was 222 many, 69,222. So she went to the doctor on 51st street, 69,222,51, who gave her pills. She took them 8 times a day, and now she is boobless.

I'm afraid for my gay calendar. Its days are numbered!

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Don’t feel bad about this day because there’s a saying: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."

A guy stuffed some cigarettes up his eyes thinking it would make him see colors.

The next day, he could see only one color... black.

On the first day of school, the teacher asked a student, "What are your parent's names?"

The student replied, "My father's name is Laughing and my mother's name is Smiling."

The teacher said, "Are you kidding?"

The student said, "No, Kidding is my brother, I am Joking."

Is it just me, or are you the prettiest person I've seen today?

He never has a bad day because he always wakes up on both sides of the bed.

Why did the turkey cross the road?

Because it was the chicken's day off!

I heard an unusual word the other day: "Opaque."

Unfortunately, what it means is unclear.

Did you hear about the guy that went to a nudist colony? The first day was his hardest.