Ashley said to me one day that what is my name and I said my name is everyday life of stupidity
What is an orphans favourite day? Tomorrow: that is when the sun will come out
On the day of 9/11 the WTC’s ordered cheese and pepperoni pizza but all they got was plane
Lone day an orphan threw a boomerang but it come back just like it’s parents
What day are twins born the most Toos-day
Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldn’t win all day, but when it got dark I managed to beat her. I don’t know how the police found out so quickly
there was a man he took a right he took another right he took a last right why did he stop
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
Someone who COUNTS BARS all day
What's a rapper's favorite day of the week?
FREESTYLE FRIDAY
I told my dad is was self harming. The next day we talked about it and he said "Hey you should CUT it out." It was funny but I couldn't bring myself to laugh at that.
At school, bobby boy's classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with "why are you crying". Bobby says "someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die". His mom looks him straight in the eye and says "depends, which one are you referring to?"
September 11 bring your plane to work day
I named my dog 5-Miles, so now I tell people, "I walk 5-Miles every day."
A man is meeting a client in Japan, yet arrives a day early. When night hit he went out with a prostitute. They're having sex, yet the prostitute kept shouting "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!", so the man thinks he doing a good job. The next day, the man meets his client and they go golfing and the client gets a hole in one. The man praises him by going "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!". His client turns around confused and says "What do you mean wrong hole!?"
Dad there was one day I was playing jump rope with a pig and then I made pulled pork out of him
Son he is dinner
By day I like girls, by night I like boys, but you, I wouldn’t like you at dusk or dawn.
I went to the super market one day and i saw a cEAsor salad for 69 dollars next minute someone comes up to me and says CAESOR DEEZ NUTZ
Once I heard a joke about chocolate the other day.
It wasn't that funny.
So I just Snickered.
Today; Worst day ever
My annoying sibling got hit by a train and I lost my job as a conductor.
Three kids one day found a magical slide. There was a sign next to it saying, “what ever you wish for comes true once you slide down”. One kid stepped up and slid down, he wished for a river of chocolate, thus he swam in a chocolate river. The second kid slid down and wished for a mountain of money, he then landed in a pile of money. The third kid went down and said, “Weeeeeeee”!
