Day jokes

One day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy, then they heard a sound from the bushes. Instead of looking down, they both ran.

Two years later, they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial. They asked him if he has ever been caught. He said, "No, but a couple was walking as soon as I killed a girl. I jumped into a bush. They didn't know I was there, but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down, then he and his girlfriend ran."

I told an orphan there were 363 days in a year.

I once was playing with my friend and Roblox girlfriend, then one day, they cheated on me. I broke up with her and unfriended him, then I saw my mom and my uncle crying!

Me be like: ;-;

Chuck Norris has come in contact with Covid.

Covid is now in a 14-day quarantine.

Guys, you shouldn't joke about 9/11.

My great-uncle died that day. Best damn pilot in Iraq.

Azibo works 10 hours a day in the sun and is paid 1 euro an hour. Thanks to a fundraiser we will be able to raise the necessary funds to buy a whip to make him work twice as much.

Went swimming today and peed in the deep end. The lifeguard saw me and blew his whistle so loud I almost fell in.

I beat up a deaf kid the other day. I had to. He kept throwing up gang signs.

I'm afraid for my gay calendar. Its days are numbered!

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Sally had 69 boobs, which was 222 many, 69,222. So she went to the doctor on 51st street, 69,222,51, who gave her pills. She took them 8 times a day, and now she is boobless.

You know if you poo on the toilet at 11:59 PM...

Then at 12:01 AM, it's just the same shit, different day...

People have been telling me that you can get things for free now.

The other day I saw a sign saying "FREE PALESTINE."

Just remembering the day when the Jets beat the New York Giants.

I'm 17, right? Anyways, the other day my parents told me a joke they made 17 years ago, but they still haven't told the joke yet.

I overdosed on Viagra yesterday.

It was the hardest day of my life.

I got fired my first day at the bank. This old lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

One day, a little girl was texting her friend. "Guess what, Angelica!" said the little girl.

"What?" Angelica replied.

"I'm a guy."

You were sad because your grandmother died.

The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.

I saw a bus the other day with some boy scouts at the back. One of them was having fun getting his knot-tying badge.

What's the difference between Monday and a dick?

They're not different. They're both unnecessarily long and hard.