Hey What do you want we broke up like 5 days ago leave me alone Ok first wanna do some things What kind of things Illegal things Like what Knock you of and hide your body 🤡🤡🗡

Q:There was two tampons walking down the road the other day guess what they said to each other

A:nothing cause they’re both stuck up cunts

I got a new job at a trampoline park the other day. If I’m being honest it’s got its ups and downs

so I got these new shoes, except they were from a drug dealer. Now I don’t know what they were laced with but I was trippin all day.

what do you call nitrogen in the day?- you call it day-trogen!

So my friends birthday is in a couple of day’s, and I was wondering what to get him. He hangs out at my house a lot, so I suggested adoption papers’

The other day a man with some cheese and milk attacked me …how dairy

One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully of him. The cop then asked the bully, “Why are you beating him up?” I responded, saying "I fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease. Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, “Well, how did I do?”

A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says “well all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket”. So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says “dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”

One day, in the Serengeti, a zebra started wondering if he was a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. So he goes around asking all the animals. He never gets his answer. One fateful day, he dies and goes to Heaven. In Heaven, the zebra gets an idea. ¨I will go ask God!¨ So, he asks God, and God chuckles. ¨You are what you are!¨ The zebra gets sad. He walks around and his dead zebra friend shows up. He asks, ¨What is wrong?¨ The zebra answers, ¨Well, I asked God if I was either a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. He just replied ´You are what you are!´¨ His friend says, ¨Oh! You are a white horse with black stripes! Why? Because he would have said ´You is what you is!´

One day an old women came into the bank and asked me to check her balance… So, i pushed her over.

So I went to the binoculars shop the other day, tell you what, they saw me coming.

Why did the turkey cross the road?

Because it was the Chicken’s day off!

Someone handed me a knife the other day and told me that it was very smart.

I made sure it didn’t outsmart me.

u know wat should give up an stay day

fortnite

I followed the sun for a day (stood there at noon) found my self at the same stop.

I heard an unusual word the other day: “Opaque”

Unfortunately, what it means is unclear.

So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What’s the catch? Aigh there maytee thy catch o the day be crabs.

why was the dog soo stressed out? It had a ruff day.

So one day i walk up to my sister and tell her that she is adopted because she doesn’t look like anyone in the famloy she starts to cry my mom ask why shes crying and i say i told her she was adopted and i was tgere for the adopten and we have peppers it was all a lie she is not adopted and every thing is fine

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