Day jokes
I told a crying kid to wipe his tears and come back smiling.
He never came back the next day, says the local news.
One day my mom told me not to be an actor. I said, "But mommy, I will make a lot of money!"
"Goodness, that's what Post Malone sounds like?"
"Give me some pre-Malone hip hop any day!"
What month of the year has 28 days?
Answer: All of them.
Two kids told their parents they saw a man late at night entering their house on Christmas night.
The day later, they found out several houses were robbed.
Memes
Some weird kid came into school today with his tagging gun. He tagged my friend really good. At the end, he tagged 12 students and 1 teacher. VICTORY ROAYAL ✌
I just wanted to say, Prince, that that "qwen" you were chatting with is totally fake! I haven't talked to you all day, I swear!
Did you know there’s a sex position called “Amazon”? You wait all day and nobody comes.
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.
One day a mom who looked like a pig broke the car down.
I got to work.
Ben: Oh no, my boss is here. I hate my job and I'm terrified of my boss.
Ben: Uh, hey, hey Mr. Boss.
Boss: Have a nice day.
Ben: Ok, bye!
Boss:??
Hey guys, starting tomorrow, I will put one letter of the "doin your mom" song every day. Can I finish the song?
Also, I might be in Fortnite, hehehehehe.
One day I was at church. I had to sit down. I said, "Who in the world stinks?" I looked down. Turns out it was me, and this is not a joke, but funny.
Here's a good tree joke to spruce up your day!
Why is the pizza place busy? Because it’s pizza day! 😂
What did the lampshade say to the light bulb?
You brighten my day.
This is a bad day for me.
What does Stephen Hawking press after he's had a hard day?
F5
Your mama is so fat.
She steps on the scales. She has to return in a couple days to get the results.
Halloween. The day we celebrate your face.