Day jokes

Your dad left you 10 years ago and you're 10 years old, so your dad anniversary is today.

Hey guys, starting tomorrow, I will put one letter of the "doin your mom" song every day. Can I finish the song?

Also, I might be in Fortnite, hehehehehe.

Did you know there’s a sex position called “Amazon”? You wait all day and nobody comes.

I just wanted to say, Prince, that that "qwen" you were chatting with is totally fake! I haven't talked to you all day, I swear!

The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.

One day a mom who looked like a pig broke the car down.

I got to work.

Ben: Oh no, my boss is here. I hate my job and I'm terrified of my boss.

Ben: Uh, hey, hey Mr. Boss.

Boss: Have a nice day.

Ben: Ok, bye!

Boss:??

One day, a chemistry teacher asked his student, whose name is Raj, "What is the chemical formula of water?"

The Raj replied, "HIJKLMNO."

The teacher asked, "What is this rubbish?"

The Raj replied, "Yesterday, you taught the chemical formula of water is H2O."

One day I was at church. I had to sit down. I said, "Who in the world stinks?" I looked down. Turns out it was me, and this is not a joke, but funny.

This is a bad day for me.

Here's a good tree joke to spruce up your day!

What did the lampshade say to the light bulb?

You brighten my day.

Why is the pizza place busy? Because it’s pizza day! 😂

I called my guy friend a cock-sucker the other day. He replied with, "Hey, 20 bucks is 20 bucks."

What do you call a skeleton that does nothing all day?

A lazy bones!

I got sad today.

It's a Italy day outside the fields.

I was playing hide-n-seek with my dad and he hid, but I could never find him till this day.

Why [does] a tranny say "Have a good day" to a Jew?

He [is a] goy.

What’s the difference between anal and oral sex?

Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak.