Day jokes
Someone prank calls a general. The general hangs up and goes, "Kids these days have no respect for their elders. That's why I send them all to die."
Orthodox Christians are a little slow; they take 13 days to get the joke. So go easy on them, alright?
America's police phone number is 911 because that is the day they lost everything.
What do you call a pig in a blanket?
My wife on a cold day.
I called my guy friend a cock-sucker the other day. He replied with, "Hey, 20 bucks is 20 bucks."
Yo mama so fat, she was the lead balloon in the Thanksgiving day parade next to Kermit the Frog.
I was doing some karate the other day at the studio.
They kicked me out because I was doing “kungi fui.”
My bro’s parents died, but he didn’t know why.
Turns out they died because he was a failure, and he would be going to an orphanage in 4 days.
One time, I worked at the zoo and I was feeding the monkeys.
And one of them μяɨɲąţ€ď on me.
And I went to the hospital and got a bloody nose the next day.
The way you are so ugly your parents even regret the day you were born.
The way you are so black when your mom is bathing you in the dark, she has to put flour in the water to see you.
🤣🤣🤣
What do you call a skeleton that does nothing all day?
A lazy bones!
Hey guys! Just a reminder that the guy below me is a crying bitch! Have a good day!
So, one day Kylin Banks was playing football. Then he saw Violet. After he saw her, he got bricked up. Then he ran after her and rubbed his pickle all over her. She was so happy.
I was with my friend atom the other day. He’s pretty tall . . . Compared to you.
I pulled a prank on my friend the other day. I painted a portrait of the backrooms blueprints while he was sleeping. Still had some extra space.
My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age.
It was really heavy on me.
Your hairline so back that back in the day of your hairline, Burger King was called "Burger Prince."
Is it me, or was 9/11 too plane? I thought it would be more exciting.
Why don’t Mexicans have sex education and driver's education on the same day?
Because the donkey gets tired.
Your forehead is so big it takes 3-4 business days.