Day jokes
Person: So, Jimmy, what do you do all day?
Jimmy Savile: Anyone who I can do.
I had a party the other day. I made sure there were vegan options. They make do or fuck off.
Hi đ, was the day you?
When is Father's Day?
Nine months before Mother's Day.
What time is it when you get home, can you walk walk home and walk walk home to get a car? I love you, you're the night!
Memes
A delivery service called âRoss Deliveriesâ was known to be the best in town. They never got anything wrong. One day, Rachelle got a delivery, but when it arrived, it was all broken! How is this possible?
I never said which delivery service she used. Lol.
What is your favorite time of day?
My teacher told me to have a good day. SOOOOOOOOOO I went home :)
I worked at a calendar factory, but I got the sack for taking a few days off!
Dad: My kid just said "butch," but since he is a kid, he said a bad word on accident.
*The next day*
Uncle: F*CK!
It's a very smart day today. I'd say it has about 30-45 degrees, with humidex.
My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.
So I went to a church the other day and I asked my friend, "Is that painting of Jesus and is it through the wall with one with three nails?" Oh wait, I wasnât even Jesus, heâs not doing the T post that he invented.
A kid calls out for his mom one day while he is in the tub and says, "Mom come quick! I'm walking on water!"
And the mom runs in and says, "I knew evon whatent yo daddy! I ain't never slept with him a day my life!"
Bo: Hey kids, I am so sad that you wonât exercise and give me Bo power, so I am just going to be an orphan.
Kids changing the channel to Annie.
Annie: Tomorrow, tomorrow, only a day away.
TV changing the channel back to Bo On The Go.
Dezzy: WAAAAAAAAAA, I canât find Bo!
I was bullying a little kid for having a purple eye and said, "Where'd you get that? Your mom? Your dad?"
After that, everyone in my group was laughing at the kid. The next day I never saw him again.
Once in 4th grade, right now, I told a random tree, "Hey, my day is bad right now, can we hang later?"
The tree said: "Yeah, we are going to be hanging every day :) !!! If you can last :)"
One day a son and his grandad were smoking.
Too bad only the sun was smoking. :)
A friend of mine told me something that I cannot forget, and I am now traumatized to hell. The next day a kid was set for an amber alert that looked exactly like my DEAR friend! :)
Your dad left you 10 years ago and you're 10 years old, so your dad anniversary is today.