Day jokes

One day a woman met with a man behind an abandoned shop.

The man asked for some crack.

The woman turned around and said, "Here."

That's where the crack was, you guessed it.

The next day, she wiped it clean, ready for the next guest who "wanted crack."

What time is it when you get home, can walk walk home and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home? Was your dinner night and dinner night?

How's your day going?

Shut up, I didn't ask.

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Hi, how are you? Busy doing today, did I have...

Hi, how are you doing today?

Once I had a cat. The cat liked human beverages.

One day I decided to throw a party. The cat went over to get some soda. There was a line. I told him that he needed to wait in line. The line was too long for the cat. Then he walked to the punch bowl. He saw that there was no punch line. Very much like this joke.

How's George Floyd doing these days? Being drug-free for a year, he must be feeling pretty swell.

How was your day, Freshfry?

So there was this guy who went swimming one day and got his left side bitten off by a shark.

But don't worry, he is all right now.

Same old boring ass day, until a person with Parkinson's fainted and got everyone's attention.

He really shook things up today.

So I went to a church the other day and I asked my friend, "Is that painting of Jesus and is it through the wall with one with three nails?" Oh wait, I wasn’t even Jesus, he’s not doing the T post that he invented.

Bo: Hey kids, I am so sad that you won’t exercise and give me Bo power, so I am just going to be an orphan.

Kids changing the channel to Annie.

Annie: Tomorrow, tomorrow, only a day away.

TV changing the channel back to Bo On The Go.

Dezzy: WAAAAAAAAAA, I can’t find Bo!

A friend of mine told me something that I cannot forget, and I am now traumatized to hell. The next day a kid was set for an amber alert that looked exactly like my DEAR friend! :)

Your dad left you 10 years ago and you're 10 years old, so your dad anniversary is today.

Why am I in jail? Because I wasn't invited to the party in the orphanage 23 days ago. Stupid fucks.

One day a son and his grandad were smoking.

Too bad only the sun was smoking. :)

A kid calls out for his mom one day while he is in the tub and says, "Mom come quick! I'm walking on water!"

And the mom runs in and says, "I knew evon whatent yo daddy! I ain't never slept with him a day my life!"

Roses are red, violets are blue, in the middle of the day, give me money, you!

I was bullying a little kid for having a purple eye and said, "Where'd you get that? Your mom? Your dad?"

After that, everyone in my group was laughing at the kid. The next day I never saw him again.

Once in 4th grade, right now, I told a random tree, "Hey, my day is bad right now, can we hang later?"

The tree said: "Yeah, we are going to be hanging every day :) !!! If you can last :)"