Day jokes

One day a son and his grandad were smoking.

Too bad only the sun was smoking. :)

A kid calls out for his mom one day while he is in the tub and says, "Mom come quick! I'm walking on water!"

And the mom runs in and says, "I knew evon whatent yo daddy! I ain't never slept with him a day my life!"

I was bullying a little kid for having a purple eye and said, "Where'd you get that? Your mom? Your dad?"

After that, everyone in my group was laughing at the kid. The next day I never saw him again.

Hey, yesterday I played with my sister. When I woke up, she was gone.

If you have a bad day, just think there are at least 15 people who care about you.

What day is Labor Day?

It's the day mommies have their babies.

On a winter day many play.

Some with snow, and I with ice Used as a device to slice Somehow I'm colder now.

A friend of mine told me something that I cannot forget, and I am now traumatized to hell. The next day a kid was set for an amber alert that looked exactly like my DEAR friend! :)

Why am I in jail? Because I wasn't invited to the party in the orphanage 23 days ago. Stupid fucks.

I scanned an emo girl's arm the other day. Now I own her, only 3.99 with tax. That's a steal and a half, woopeeee!

I shouted "Jenga" in class today.

We were watching clips of 9/11.

One day, someone's ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat, and her ex-boyfriend was there and gave her an apple. Next minute, she had chlamydia. What did the boyfriend do?

Roses are red, violets are blue, in the middle of the day, give me money, you!

The doctor gave his patient 1 day of life, so he shot him. Then the judge gave him 15 years, so there you go, problem solved.

When did Jesus die?

On Luan Day hahahahahahahahahahahahaha LOUD HOUSE wink wink.

Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year? Because there is no Mother's or Father's Day.

My dad went out with Nemo one day to the store. They still haven't come back.

Oh my Prince, I've loved you ever since the day we met.

When I was caught in your net of love, sweet love... It's all above...

So there was this guy who went swimming one day and got his left side bitten off by a shark.

But don't worry, he is all right now.

If you get an apple a day, what does it give you?

Worms and rotten fruit.