Dating jokes
Chat date for Gwen and Tj.
I told my therapist you are too fat and ugly to date grown men. Then she asked me, "You wanna give a judgemental reaction about that?" I said, "Okay, you smell rat pee on somebody's cock."
Why couldn't the lizard get a girlfriend?
Because he had a reptile dysfunction!
A boy in nursery asked a girl out. She ran away crying in fear, so he just went back to teaching.
My girlfriend broke up with me this morning, and we just started dating yesterday.
Now she's having a breakfast.
When is Father's Day?
Nine months before Mother's Day.
Roblox Brookhaven be like:
"ABC if you wanna be adopted."
"ABC if you wanna be my friend."
"ABC if you wanna be a banker."
"ABC if you wanna rob the bank."
"ABC if you wanna date."
"ABC if you wanna sex."
Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.
If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.
Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 9.
Person: What's your perfect date look like?
Me: Oh, just hanging around in a tree.
Are you a walnut, because I'm about to nut all over your walls!
My girlfriend broke up with me today, but it’s ok.
She said we can still be cousins.
Friends call me crack miser, whatever I snort. My brain starts to distort! I'll be in court.
Yo mama so hairy that bigfoot dated her.
The furniture store keeps calling me back... But all I wanted was that one nightstand.
So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend.
Her boyfriend said "Hi."
I said, "Knife to meet you!"
"I work with animals," the man said to his date.
His date said, "I love a man who works with animals. What job is it for the animal?"
"I am a butcher," said the man.
A blonde girl walks into a gym and sees a guy. The guy takes off his shirt, she says, "Oh, what chest!" "That's 100 lbs of dynamite, baby," he replies. Then he takes off his pants, she says, "Oh, what legs!" He says, "That's 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." After that, he took off his underwear. The blonde girl starts running. He catches her and says, "Why were you running?" She said, "I didn't wanna be in there once I've seen how small the fuse was."
What's the best part of dating a homeless girl? You can drop her off anywhere.
"{[(Log date) 11 22 3] The Beginning} "This marks the first ever log of the Underground Fruit Association of n&c (ugfa). N, being code name for Nathaniel, and C, being code name for Connor. Our plan is to collect as many fruit cups as possible by the end of the year. This site will be a communication hub only and used for nothing else. We will plan and discuss courses of action, and collection." End of log"