Dark Humor

Q: Why do Americans fish with guns?

A: To shoot up the whole school.

A dad is in a wheelchair and his daughter goes, "Don't step on a crack!"

What's the quickest way to get to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.

What do you do after raping a deaf person? Cut their fingers off so they don't tell anyone.

MORE JOKES COMING SOON LMAO ;]

Why did the cops come over?

Because parents had kids in their basement.

My Mom said, "I have a daughter that killed herself for getting bullied."

Well, I said, "Have you seen her?"

Are you a rope? Because I wanna hang with you.

Bleach solves so many problems: stains, dirty dishes, messes, and overpopulation.

So sad when the emo kid tried to give a high five to a tree.

Too bad he left him hanging.

I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.

I was in cooking class and my teacher said, "Does anyone know what a chopping board is similar to?"

Me and my friend just glanced at each other and burst out laughing.

Long story short, the teacher understood the joke, and now we are both in daily therapy. 😭💀

The other day, me and my friend were at the shops buying crafts. I was wearing a black top; she was wearing a stripy top. We were arguing about who was more creative when she asked me to prove that I am. I just said, "You buy your stripes, I make mine."

To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I'm still here.

You wanna hear a suicide joke? Nvm, it didn't make it.

I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning.

A depressing but satisfying victory.

What's a pedophile's favorite type of garden?

A kindergarden.

Son: Dad? Why is mommy no longer with us?

Dad: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Son: Why?

Dad: To get to the other side, but your mother only made it about halfway.

Why did Logan Paul go to the suicide forest?

To see who's hanging around.

What's the hardest part about being a pedophile?

Fitting in.

My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.

But I knew she'd come crawling back to me.

What starts with M and ends with arriage?

Miscarriage. Now we all know that joke never gets old, and you know what?

Neither does the child.