Dark Humor
I was outside digging a six-foot hole when I found a treasure box with jewels and shiny gems! I almost went inside to tell my wife, then I remembered why I was digging the hole.
Like if you think rape jokes are funny.
So, I was in the church the other day, raping this woman, when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'
D: Johnny, Johnny.
J: Yes, Papa?
D: Eating sugar?
J: No, Papa!
D: Telling lies?
J: No, Papa!
D: Open your mouth, now full of cock. :)
Kobe: Stop doing dark humor!
Me: Why? They don't land well together?
Male Patient: So I just pull my pants down and bend over for my prostate exam.
Doctor: Yup.
Male: Ok I'm ready....hey doc that doesn't feel like a finger.
Doctor: He he yeah...im not a doctor.
What constellation has no hair at all?
Cancer.
Orphans and Chinese people can’t play baseball. The orphans can’t find home, and the Chinese kid will eat the bat.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
I told my therapist I feel suicidal. He charged me in advance.
I told a crippled guy he is immortal because he can't kick the bucket.
I wish death was in the form of a woman.
That way, it would never come for me.
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Look at me again,
It will be the end of you.
Riddler: Riddle me this, are you scared of the big black?
Person: Big black what?
Riddler: ...
Person: I'm scared of what you mean because you won't tell me what you mean.
What is the difference between the Titanic and the Twin Towers?
They both went down.
What are Africans composed of?
99% Coca-Cola.
Dark humor is like life:
Not everyone gets it.
Q. How does an emo scratch an itch? A. With a razor blade.
You know that if it says, "Adopt a Highway" and no one does, we're driving on orphans.