Dark Humor
You call your dad the sun because he is 90 million miles away.
1) Did you hear the one about the school shooting? Actually, I better not... You wouldn't understand, it's aimed more towards a younger audience.
2) 6 was scared cuz 7 8 9, so why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9/11.
3) 10 dead babies.
What does an orphan call a kidnapping?
A surprise adoption.
Me: Hey, you want to hear a dark joke?
Brother: Sure.
Me: Turn off the light.
I’ll never forget my Grandfather’s last words to me just before he died. “Are you still holding the ladder?”
I went to the mental hospital. I asked one of the kid what its favorite animal was. They said a bird. I asked for a reason. It's because they both jump off roofs.
I bought an orphan kid an iPhone.
Guess what? It had no home button.
Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a school bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?
He saw his dad's corpse holding a jug of milk.
Ever heard of a rape victim with Alzheimer's?
Yeah, neither have they.
It must not be a good suicide story if you can tell it.
What was the last thing going through the 9/11 victims' minds?
They don't say "shit for brains" for nothing. 🤣🤣
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat, she said nothing. So I brought her to Africa.
Your mum is so old that when I told her to act her age, she died.
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
You can hang the picture with one nail.
"Say what you want about the deaf."
Help, my ADHD is so bad that not even I can focus in a concentration camp.
Did you fart, cause you blew me away?
The other day I took my Grandma to one of those fish spas where the little fish eat your dead skin.
It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.
What does Joe Biden call a room full of kids? A toy room.