Dark Humor

I saw a kid crying and asked him where his parents were. He started crying harder.

The ungrateful brat. I see why he is an orphan.

Hey, you know what I told the kid in a wheelchair?

I told him to be a stand-up comedian!

What's the difference between a dead hooker and an onion?

I don't cry when I'm cutting up a dead hooker.

Where do feminists go when they die? "Hell's Kitchen."

I asked my kid to give me a hand. That motherfucker cried while charging his mechanical arm.

What do you call a wheelchair on fire?

Hot Wheels.

If you're ever frustrated, just punch them in the face. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

What do clothes and emo kids have in common?

They both get hung.

How do blind kids get punished?

By moving the furniture around the house.

I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence."

What does dark humor and a child with cancer have in common? They never get old.

Guy: Do you know how to draw women's rights?

Girl: No, how?

Guy: All you need is a blank paper, and that's it.

Why are Japanese always so skinny?

Cause last time there was a fat man, an entire city disappeared.

The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him with my gun. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.

What's the difference between a bird and a kid on the roof?

The bird can fly off the roof.

The "W" in Africa stands for water.

What's stiff and 6 inches long?

SIDS.

What color would the confetti be at a baby shower in 2025?

Orange because they're having a they/them baby.

What is the worst joke ever? It's you.

Imagine this scenario: A doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses, diseases, etc. in the world but cooler like this: "Bumbumbum you have depression, diarrhea, and cancer,... etc."

And then the last one on the list is that he is deaf, and then the doctor shows the patient the list.