What's the difference between a bird and a kid on the roof?
The bird can fly off the roof.
Dark Humor
The "W" in Africa stands for water.
What's stiff and 6 inches long?
SIDS.
What is the worst joke ever? It's you.
Imagine this scenario: A doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses, diseases, etc. in the world but cooler like this: "Bumbumbum you have depression, diarrhea, and cancer,... etc."
And then the last one on the list is that he is deaf, and then the doctor shows the patient the list.
Silly Sonka’s Valentine’s Day *vomit sound* Card
A kid and an apple fall from a tree, who will reach the ground first?
The apple, because the kid is hanging on the tree with a rope.
What color would the confetti be at a baby shower in 2025?
Orange because they're having a they/them baby.
What does Nemo have in common with my dad?
They both can't be found.
I went to the mental hospital. I asked one of the kid what its favorite animal was. They said a bird. I asked for a reason. It's because they both jump off roofs.
Pro tip: How to not hit your thumb with a hammer, make your child hold the nail.
Tony's wife got a divorce from Tony. She said she wanted to be an independent woman.
Days later, Tony's wife had an accident. Guess who's crawling back for help. 💀
Kobe: Stop doing dark humor!
Me: Why? They don't land well together?
22. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.
Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 was a unregistered six offender.
How do you know the baby's dead? The dog plays with it more.
A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
“You can’t cut me down,” the tree exclaims, “I’m a talking tree!” The man responds, “You may be a talking tree, but you will have dialogue.”
6, 7, and 8 are all scared of 10, but 10 is also scared. Why was 10 scared?
Because it was stuck between 9 and 11.
Alright, what do you call a blank piece of paper?
Women's rights.
I got caught fucking a dead body by my family. RIP grandma.
Friend: Slavery isn't good.
Other friend: Yeah, it's terrible.
Me: Shut up and get me a juice!
