Dark Humor

Dark Humor

Bird

What's the difference between a bird and a kid on the roof?

The bird can fly off the roof.

Doctor

Imagine this scenario: A doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses, diseases, etc. in the world but cooler like this: "Bumbumbum you have depression, diarrhea, and cancer,... etc."

And then the last one on the list is that he is deaf, and then the doctor shows the patient the list.

Apple

A kid and an apple fall from a tree, who will reach the ground first?

The apple, because the kid is hanging on the tree with a rope.

Color

What color would the confetti be at a baby shower in 2025?

Orange because they're having a they/them baby.

Nemo

What does Nemo have in common with my dad?

They both can't be found.

Hospital

I went to the mental hospital. I asked one of the kid what its favorite animal was. They said a bird. I asked for a reason. It's because they both jump off roofs.

Child

Pro tip: How to not hit your thumb with a hammer, make your child hold the nail.

Wife

Tony's wife got a divorce from Tony. She said she wanted to be an independent woman.

Days later, Tony's wife had an accident. Guess who's crawling back for help. 💀

Kobe

Kobe: Stop doing dark humor!

Me: Why? They don't land well together?

Man

22. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.

31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.

Baby

How do you know the baby's dead? The dog plays with it more.

Tree

A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.

“You can’t cut me down,” the tree exclaims, “I’m a talking tree!” The man responds, “You may be a talking tree, but you will have dialogue.”

Number

6, 7, and 8 are all scared of 10, but 10 is also scared. Why was 10 scared?

Because it was stuck between 9 and 11.

Slavery

Friend: Slavery isn't good.

Other friend: Yeah, it's terrible.

Me: Shut up and get me a juice!