Dark Humor
Why did the terrorist cross the road?
To get to the airport!
Two simple steps to get 15,000 people to follow you:
Step 1: Buy a bottle of water (doesn't matter the size).
Step 2: Run through Africa with that bottle of water.
Perfect! Now you got yourself half the population there following you!
I asked someone why they were crying. They told me that they had to abort their twins.
Then someone yelled "DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE!"
How do terrorists feed their children?
"Here comes the airplane!"
Damn! Really stole my friend's glasses. Well, now they're blind, but not really, they're dead.
What is the difference between the Titanic and the Twin Towers?
They both went down.
Dark jokes are like gay people, Not everyone likes them.
So imagine bullying an orphan so bad they cry, and then you say, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"
Bligitty blot, bliggity blit,
You better not be talkin' shit. 🔫
The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.
What do a baby and a grenade have in common? They both make loud noises when thrown.
Hey, you know what I told the kid in a wheelchair?
I told him to be a stand-up comedian!
What does dark humor and a child with cancer have in common?
That I will never get old.
Do you know the phrase, “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure?” Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.
What's the same about dark humor and kids with cancer?
They never get old.
I had to stop drinking because I got tired of waking up in my car, driving 90.
My dog is named Max, and he likes to eat dog food. Therefore, everyone named Max likes to eat dog food.
A rich man and a poor man are talking about anniversaries. The rich man got his wife a Mercedes and a diamond ring. He says if the wife does not like the ring, she can take the Mercedes and leave.
The poor man said he got his wife slippers and a dildo. He says if his wife does not like the slippers, she can go and fuck herself.
Q: Why can’t orphans be criminals?
A: They are not wanted.
An old man saw the TikTok trend of people throwing it back. The old man wanted to do it with his wife. The man set up everything needed and did the video. He threw it back first, then his wife, but instead of an old lady, it was ashes.