Dark Humor
Are you a rope? Because I wanna hang with you.
Bleach solves so many problems: stains, dirty dishes, messes, and overpopulation.
So sad when the emo kid tried to give a high five to a tree.
Too bad he left him hanging.
I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
The other day, me and my friend were at the shops buying crafts. I was wearing a black top; she was wearing a stripy top. We were arguing about who was more creative when she asked me to prove that I am. I just said, "You buy your stripes, I make mine."
To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I'm still here.
You wanna hear a suicide joke? Nvm, it didn't make it.
I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning.
A depressing but satisfying victory.
Son: Dad? Why is mommy no longer with us?
Dad: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Son: Why?
Dad: To get to the other side, but your mother only made it about halfway.
What's a pedophile's favorite type of garden?
A kindergarden.
Why did Logan Paul go to the suicide forest?
To see who's hanging around.
What's the hardest part about being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.
But I knew she'd come crawling back to me.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso espresso.
Nah, just kidding, it's bleach.
I was in cooking class and my teacher said, "Does anyone know what a chopping board is similar to?"
Me and my friend just glanced at each other and burst out laughing.
Long story short, the teacher understood the joke, and now we are both in daily therapy. 😭💀
What’s the difference between my lawn and my wrists?
Nothing, I cut both of them.
What starts with M and ends with arriage?
Miscarriage. Now we all know that joke never gets old, and you know what?
Neither does the child.
Snow everywhere, it's Christmas time. A person looks at the tree.
The person: "Only the last thing left to hang!"
He grabs a noose.
What's the difference between Kelly Clarkson and a Florida real estate agent?
A Florida real estate agent screws over seniors, Kelly Clarkson screws little children.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Must be more than 13, because my basement is still dark.