Dark Humor

What’s the difference between my lawn and my wrists?

Nothing, I cut both of them.

Snow everywhere, it's Christmas time. A person looks at the tree.

The person: "Only the last thing left to hang!"

He grabs a noose.

What's the difference between Kelly Clarkson and a Florida real estate agent?

A Florida real estate agent screws over seniors, Kelly Clarkson screws little children.

How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?

Must be more than 13, because my basement is still dark.

How do emos compliment each other?

They say, "I like your cuts g."

I like my women like I like my wine, twelve years old, in the basement, and locked up.

Kid: But, Mom, I don't want to see Grandma.

Mom: Shut up and keep digging.

Tell a dark joke to an orphan, then hit them. They'll get the punchline right away.

Anyone else on here looking at depressing jokes to make themselves feel better? Not that it's working, but it's nice to know that I'm not alone. Well, enough with the sob story, I gotta go get my razors. See ya in the long run.

A woman went out on a date and said, “I’m thirty-one with the body of a sixteen-year-old.” The man responded, “Wanna show me? 😏” The woman took him back to her house and opened her freezer and said, “Take a look.”

What do you not want to do when it comes to giving an emo a job?

Showing them the ropes.

People keep telling me that I should stop making sh jokes... bro it's not that deep.

It must not be a good suicide story if you can tell it.

What's the difference between my thighs and my eyebrows? Nothing, I slit both of them.

Are you a grave, 'cause I want you on me?

To everyone saying, "Don't joke about suicide, it's not even funny to laugh about people dying." Do you think we have it easy? Have you ever thought these jokes were helping us to cope? Mind your own business and don't make assumptions on people you know nothing about, please and thanks.