Dark Humor

Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.

How do terrorists feed their children?

"Here comes the airplane!"

Rules of dark humor.

1. Everything shall be touched.

2. If it offends someone, it shall not be touched.

Mom: See that guy over there with no hands, tell him to clap.

Son: Mom, I'm blind.

Mom: Exactly!

A sister told her brother to walk to the store, buy some candy, and watch a movie with her while eating the candy.

But he couldn't walk because he has no legs. He couldn't buy candy because he has no arms. He couldn't watch a movie because he was blind, and he couldn't eat because he has no stomach. Who said he was real?

How do you get 50 hungry kids into a box? You put a can of beans in there.

How do you get 50 hungry kids out of a box? You run past with a can opener.

Male Patient: So I just pull my pants down and bend over for my prostate exam.

Doctor: Yup.

Male: Ok I'm ready....hey doc that doesn't feel like a finger.

Doctor: He he yeah...im not a doctor.

The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza, but they were pissed as all they got was plane.

What do food and dark humor have in common? Some people don’t get it.

I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

9/11 Victims, they went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.

What do you call a group of emos?

Suicide Squad.

Walked in to a gun store, everything was half off.

I didn't know back-to-school shopping started.

D: Johnny, Johnny.

J: Yes, Papa?

D: Eating sugar?

J: No, Papa!

D: Telling lies?

J: No, Papa!

D: Open your mouth, now full of cock. :)

Ever heard of a rape victim with Alzheimer's?

Yeah, neither have they.

The F in orphan stands for family.

What did the kid without hands get for Christmas? - I don't know, he still didn't open his present...

I made an orphan website. It does not have a home page.

Do you know the phrase, “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure?” Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.

My grandma unplugged the internet cable, so I unplugged her life support.