Dark Humor
Dark humor is like life:
Not everyone gets it.
What do you call an emo kid at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball?
Because they ate the bay.
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
You can hang the picture with one nail.
What do you call a Chinese baby?
Sum Ting Wong.
This humor is so dark, it's darker than the Black population.
Men play video games to let their inner child out, while women do abortions.
Who works at IHOP? A girl with one leg.
P1: Why did the chicken cross the road?
P2: To get to the other side DUH?!?
P1: No dumbass, it's to get run over because he has depression, a chronic illness, and his father left him for a good for nothing pimp that doesn’t even give a shit about how he feels. (Kinda like me).
P2: Holy shit are u ok? *Some random eavesdropping fucker dials 911 in a hurry*
How do terrorists feed their children?
"Here comes the airplane!"
Rules of dark humor.
1. Everything shall be touched.
2. If it offends someone, it shall not be touched.
Mom: See that guy over there with no hands, tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I'm blind.
Mom: Exactly!
A sister told her brother to walk to the store, buy some candy, and watch a movie with her while eating the candy.
But he couldn't walk because he has no legs. He couldn't buy candy because he has no arms. He couldn't watch a movie because he was blind, and he couldn't eat because he has no stomach. Who said he was real?
How do you get 50 hungry kids into a box? You put a can of beans in there.
How do you get 50 hungry kids out of a box? You run past with a can opener.
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza, but they were pissed as all they got was plane.
What do food and dark humor have in common? Some people don’t get it.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 Victims, they went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.
What do you call a group of emos?
Suicide Squad.
Ever heard of a rape victim with Alzheimer's?
Yeah, neither have they.
I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin.
The jokes weren't that good, but I liked the execution.
The F in orphan stands for family.