Dark Humor
My wife called me a pedophile. That is a big word for a 2 year old.
Q. Why didn't Tracy Latimer enjoy her trip to Vancouver?
A. She had to go to GasTown.
My friend and I were joking about a kid in a wheelchair, and another kid came up and said to the wheelchair kid, "You should stand up for yourself."
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball?
Because they ate the bay.
What's the difference between an emo and a banana?
They both hang like apples.
What is George Floyd's pickup line?
You are breathtaking.
The doctor said I have until 2:30 to live.
That’s like 20 years from now, I said.
He looks at the time. It’s 2:30.
There was this Down syndrome boy that always wanted to be a cop, and he did. He pulled someone over and said, "Know why I pulled you over?"
The guy replied, "Because I was speeding?"
He said, "No, because you're black."
I, for one, wish Donald Trump was President again. It's been a while since we had a presidential assassination.
Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 was a unregistered six offender.
One good thing about lynching during the holidays, free tree ornaments.
My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me and said, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"
I heard that to slow the growth of fire, you use a flame retardant.
So I threw my stupid son in the flames when my house caught on fire!
I took my girlfriend to a Chinese restaurant. One hour after ordering, I went to ask the chef what was going on. That was until I heard barking from the kitchen.
One man's trash is another man's treasure. That sucks when you are adopted.
A limbless criminal has just been identified. Police say the suspect is armed and on the run.
What’s the difference between broccoli and little girls?
I don’t like the taste of broccoli.
My dad smashed my PS5, so I smashed his wife.
I drove by the gun shop the other day and everything was half off for back to school.
My girlfriend told me she used to be a Christian. I asked her why she isn't anymore and she said she liked the name Christina better.