Dark Humor

What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?

The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.

If you're ever frustrated, just punch them in the face. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

What is Bill Cosby's favorite poem? Roses are red, my cum is blue, I'll wait till your asleep to rape you.

A young boy was picked up by a strange young man who put him in his car and drove into an abandoned farm.

"This place looks scary," the kid said.

And the man replies, "I know right, I have to walk out of there alone."

Where did Sarah go after the bombing?

Everywhere. 💀

Me: Good night, everyone.

My friends and family: Night.

Me: *gets in coffin*

My family: *stares at my friends* You aren't going to do something?!?

My friends: *to my family* Nope, this is normal.

Pro tip: How to not hit your thumb with a hammer, make your child hold the nail.

What do you call a wheelchair on fire?

Hot Wheels.

Kid: "Dark humor is like a mother's love."

Orphan: "How?"

Kid: "You wouldn't know."

Orphan: "........."

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

You can hang the picture with one nail.

What does Joe Biden call a room full of kids? A toy room.

My fish died, and I didn't do anything. I just took my fish for a walk.

What was the first thing Thanos snapped?

Loki’s neck.

I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat.

She said nothing, so I took her to Africa.

I turned off all the beeping machines in the hospital. I love the peace and quiet, but I don't know why everyone is sleeping cause it's only 8 am.

There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.

She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."

Son said, "But I can't see."

Mom said, "That's the point."

- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.

- How did the gay person die? Homicide.

- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.

- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.

- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.

- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.

- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.

I punched my mom for no freaking reason.

My fish can break dance. Only for 20 seconds and only once.

Today, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.

My parents are the worst.