Danger jokes
Why did Little Sally get hurt while playing soccer?
Because she fell into a minefield.
What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?
Oops!
Are you a toaster?
Because I wanna take a bath with you.
One day I threw a boomerang...
Now I live in constant fear.
I will never forget my mother and father's last words.
"Where the Sam hell did you get a grenade?"
You want to know the bad thing? Only 5 out of 6 people like Russian roulette.
What do you call a monkey in a mine field?
BaBOOM!
My friend: You ever feel like life is pointless? *drives faster*
Me: Yea-
My friend: If you could die with one person, who would it be? *speeds up more*
Me: H-hey, you should slow down! Slow down, slow down! We're about to-
What's the difference between a yandere and a gun?
Nothing.
Flip them off the wrong way and you're dead.
What does a woman’s pussy and a chainsaw have in common?
Miss by a few inches and you’re in deep shit.
Cristiano Clapnaldo woke up FEELING DANGEROUS against Real Sociedad!
- 0 tapins! - 0 assists! - 3/3 dives! - 0 key passes! - 2 big chances missed! - 1/4 dribbles! - 2 Offsides! - 27 claps!
Better than Elanga?
"Roses are red. Violets are red. My parents' bed is red. Oh shit, I set the house on fire!"
God, you're more toxic than white phosphorus.
The mom: "Where did Timmy go after exploring that minefield across the road, honey?"
The dad: "Everywhere."
What do a condom and a gun have in common? You should never use either one of them.
A teenager went into a creepy house with his 3 friends. Only 2 came out. Where are the others?
(Getting brutally murdered.)
I got in trouble at school today because I played the knife game with a pair of scissors, but I couldn't flip them off because I was missing that finger.
How many times does 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out!
I've got a job defusing landmines.
It's difficult, but hopefully soon I'll find my feet.
What's a knife's favorite person?
The victim.