Danger jokes
What's the only time you can do almost whatever you want?
When you have a gun in your hand.
How many times does 43 go into 8?
Get in the van and find out.
I opened a company selling landmines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.
I googled "How to start a wildfire." I got 48,500 matches.
Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her, and told her never to play with matches again.
A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire, and the house burned down.
Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors', her mother told her: "If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home!"
Little Natalie just cackled with delight because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.
What weighs 5 oz. and is very dangerous?
A sparrow with a machine gun, of course!
Who make hard candy for the kids?
Solve.
Why did the blonde run outside naked?
She thought the steam was a gas leak.
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite thing about Halloween?
A: Free delivery.
A pedophile and a little boy are walking into the woods late at night.
The little boy says, "I'm scared."
The pedophile says, "You think you're scared? I have to walk back alone!"
Why should you be wary of stairs? -- Because they are always up to something.
5 out of 6 scientists say Russian Roulette is safe.
My girlfriend is a porn star. -- She will kill me if she finds out.
I started a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.
Wives are like grenades. Remove the ring and boom, the house is gone!