Q: What's a pedophile's favorite thing about Halloween?
A: Free delivery.
A pedophile and a little boy are walking into the woods late at night.
The little boy says, "I'm scared."
The pedophile says, "You think you're scared? I have to walk back alone!"
Why should you be wary of stairs? -- Because they are always up to something.
5 out of 6 scientists say Russian Roulette is safe.
My girlfriend is a porn star. -- She will kill me if she finds out.
I started a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.
Wives are like grenades. Remove the ring and boom, the house is gone!
