Damage jokes

Study tip: Laminate your notes so they don't get damaged by the tears!

As an American, I like cars. And like all car enthusiasts, even just a little scratch can ruin a brand new car.

So why is it that we go to different countries like India and see that almost every car is completely totaled? I guess we have different meanings of "it's just a scratch."

What do you call a sociopath who damages a box of Wheaties? A cereal criminal!

Little Johnny says: “Mom, you know that lovely vase in the dining room that’s been handed down from generation to generation?”

Mom replies: “Yes. What about it?”

He says: “Well, the last generation just dropped it.”

You know you're fucked when the speed bump screams.

Yo momma so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the floor cracked up.

Why is it painful to have your attorney with you in the hospital?

The damages are severe.

I broke the sink yesterday; the handle just blew right off! My dad was so mad, he blew his stack!

Why should you never throw grandpa's false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.

I felt a window break once. It was pane-full!

I made an AR that shoots boo boo bullets. It does poison time 10x damage. You have a very good chance of getting STD. Very good AR. Going for 100,000. Email: EatandDrinkbouls@gmail.com

What time do you have when an elephant sits on your fence?

Time to get a new fence!

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?

Time to get a new fence!

A rich man paid for a trip to space, but he couldn't go because the rocket was damaged. He received a refund and an apology.

I slit my wrist and said, "THAT'S A LOT OF DAMAGE!" So I did it again, but with a knife and said, "NOW *THAT'S* A LOT OF DAMAGE!" I then put watertight Flex Seal on the wound, and it didn't seal.

Yo mama so fat, when she walked across the floor, she fell through it.

It looks like your face was lit on fire and someone tried to extinguish it with a hammer!