Why should you never throw grandpa's false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.
The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence
Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating."
The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”
Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”
The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”
Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.
Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”
The teacher sat down and cried.
How is a marriage like a hurricane?
In the beginning there’s a lot of sucking and blowing but at the end you lose your house
Today I got a lecture from my mother, and congratulated her. Why? Because she managed not to damage me in a physical fashion.
My (at the time) boyfriend told our chemistry teacher that blood is corrosive to steel.
Anyways, my sharpener isn’t working because the blade has been too badly damaged from something else...
Study tip: laminate your notes so they don't get damaged by the tears
What can you break, even if you never pick it up or touch it?
I once told an orphan to go big or go home, he replied I can't get home it got bombed
A missile hit a hospital earlier this morning fortunately no one was injured - but 100 were killed.
me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls of of a cliff uses water bucket trick ) dies
What's blue and bad for your teeth?
A green brick that's painted blue after the original paint dries (it takes a little while to dry) but after it dries you can paint it and then it will be green. If the brick is green it is called a green brick as it is green (not blue anymore) and it hurts your teeth because brick is a hard material that can damage the bones in your mouth (also known as your teeth)
If you wont to get mental damage, visit the site:
https://schlechtewitze.com
god sent to the principles office for giving a blind kid sun glasses and said dont let the sun damage your eyes.
I slit my wrist and said,"THATS A LOT OF DAMAGE!". So I did again, but with a knife and said,"NOW *THATS* ALOT OF DAMAGE!". I then put watertight Flexseal on the wound, and it didn't seal.
Apparently I'm not aloud home house fires, but the neighbours their house burnt lovely
Q: What do a blond girl and a tornado have in common A: There's a lot of blowing and sucking then u lose your house
Why are women like hurricanes?
They come in nasty and wet then leave with your house and car.
Why's it painful to have your attorney with you in the hospital?
The damages are severe
Yo mama's so fat, when she fell I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
So, this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well, the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road, he starts speeding. Eventually, he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, "Is my wife okay? She was carrying my child." The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes, "APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage."
