Damage jokes
A rich man paid for a trip to space, but he couldn't go because the rocket was damaged. He received a refund and an apology.
Little Johnny says: “Mom, you know that lovely vase in the dining room that’s been handed down from generation to generation?”
Mom replies: “Yes. What about it?”
He says: “Well, the last generation just dropped it.”
God sent a kid to the principal's office for giving a blind kid sunglasses and said, "Don't let the sun damage your eyes!"
As an American, I like cars. And like all car enthusiasts, even just a little scratch can ruin a brand new car.
So why is it that we go to different countries like India and see that almost every car is completely totaled? I guess we have different meanings of "it's just a scratch."
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
These posts are brutal; they're leaving nothing left standing.
A missile hit a hospital earlier this morning. Fortunately, no one was injured - but 100 were killed.
What can you break, even if you never pick it up or touch it?
I made an AR that shoots boo boo bullets. It does poison time 10x damage. You have a very good chance of getting STD. Very good AR. Going for 100,000. Email: EatandDrinkbouls@gmail.com
What do masturbation and brain damage have in common? After a few strokes, there’s no going back.
What is the difference between women and cars?
At least one of them retained their value after getting wrecked.
Yo mama so fat, that when she fell I didn’t laugh, but damn that sidewalk cracked up. 👋
If you tried to look at your hairline in a mirror, it would shatter into 100,000,000,000 pieces.
What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?
A kitchen chair! Your momma sits in it for lunch, and your dad only manages to reattach one of the two legs that broke off by evening.
The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”
The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”
Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”
The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”
Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.
Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”
The teacher sat down and cried.
What's the difference between a tornado and a divorce down south?
Nothing. Someone's losing a trailer.
What happens when a cow jumps over a wire fence?
Udder destruction.
What do you take care of after a car crash?
The witnesses.
Yo mama's so fat, when she fell I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone chucked a brick at her.
Why did Sally throw a clock out the window? She had brain damage from the brick.