Dad jokes

I think my dad is too black because whenever he goes to bed and closes his eyes, he disappears. 🤣

what happens when you accidentally taught your child to call every man daddy?

you find the real one.

How do cows laugh?

Moo-haha.

My mom and dad got home from a party pretty late. Why do I know? Because I was playing Minecraft all night.

Anyways, they get home and start fumbling up the stairs and being really loud. I could have swore I heard them fall down. I assumed they were drunk. I was just playing my Switch when they come into my room. Now I'm about 10 at the time so I watch them get undressed IN MY FUCKING BED! I then just stare at them as they notice me before I witness anything. They say that they were doing "intense kissing" the next morning. I believed that at the time, but now I've been to health class. I now know the truth. I wish I hadn't.

I should probably stop making jokes about 9/11.

My dad died to it, he was a great pilot.

So, Dad is teaching his 8-year-old son about the planets and said, "This is Uranus." Then the 5-year-old son says, "Where is my anus?"

We have Build-A-Bear; meanwhile, orphans have Build-A-Mom, or if they’d rather, Build-A-Dad.

Son: Dad, how was I born?

Dad: Your mum's a hoe.

Son: OK, what's a hoe?

Dad: Your mum.

Want to hear a dad joke? Look in the mirror. You get the joke.

When you go to your girlfriend's house but accidentally go into her dad's room and fuck him anyway.

"How do celebrities stay cool?"

"They have many fans!"

My dad died in 9/11. He was the best pilot.

Boy: "Mister, can I get candy?"

Mister: No, you shit head.

Boy: Why? :(

Mister: Because I'm not your dad.

Dad goat: Son, do you know what I like to eat?

Son goat: No, what?

Dad goat: Goat meat.

Son goat: *Gasps*

Dad goat: Nah, I'm just KIDing.

One day, this dad and his son went to a basketball factory, and the son said, "I want to buy some balls." The dad said, "What for?" The son said, "So you can have some balls."

Your dad went on America's Got Talent for "smoothest way to leave their child."

My dad asked, "Where are you going?"

Me: "Back to the orphanage."

Your mom is gay, just like your dad.

What's the difference between a boomerang and my dad?

My dad came back!

A girl comes home and finds her dad and 4-year-old brother on the sofa. She says, "Dad, why is he wearing that face mask?"

The dad buckles his belt and says, "There's more for you, hunny."