Dad jokes

I think my dad is too black because whenever he goes to bed and closes his eyes, he disappears. 🤣

what happens when you accidentally taught your child to call every man daddy?

you find the real one.

How do cows laugh?

Moo-haha.

My mom and dad got home from a party pretty late. Why do I know? Because I was playing Minecraft all night.

Anyways, they get home and start fumbling up the stairs and being really loud. I could have swore I heard them fall down. I assumed they were drunk. I was just playing my Switch when they come into my room. Now I'm about 10 at the time so I watch them get undressed IN MY FUCKING BED! I then just stare at them as they notice me before I witness anything. They say that they were doing "intense kissing" the next morning. I believed that at the time, but now I've been to health class. I now know the truth. I wish I hadn't.

So, Dad is teaching his 8-year-old son about the planets and said, "This is Uranus." Then the 5-year-old son says, "Where is my anus?"

We have Build-A-Bear; meanwhile, orphans have Build-A-Mom, or if they’d rather, Build-A-Dad.

Son: Dad, how was I born?

Dad: Your mum's a hoe.

Son: OK, what's a hoe?

Dad: Your mum.

Want to hear a dad joke? Look in the mirror. You get the joke.

When you go to your girlfriend's house but accidentally go into her dad's room and fuck him anyway.

I should probably stop making jokes about 9/11.

My dad died to it, he was a great pilot.

My dad died in 9/11. He was the best pilot.

"How do celebrities stay cool?"

"They have many fans!"

Boy: "Mister, can I get candy?"

Mister: No, you shit head.

Boy: Why? :(

Mister: Because I'm not your dad.

One day, this dad and his son went to a basketball factory, and the son said, "I want to buy some balls." The dad said, "What for?" The son said, "So you can have some balls."

Dad goat: Son, do you know what I like to eat?

Son goat: No, what?

Dad goat: Goat meat.

Son goat: *Gasps*

Dad goat: Nah, I'm just KIDing.

Your dad went on America's Got Talent for "smoothest way to leave their child."

My dad asked, "Where are you going?"

Me: "Back to the orphanage."

Your mom is gay, just like your dad.

What's the difference between a boomerang and my dad?

My dad came back!

A girl comes home and finds her dad and 4-year-old brother on the sofa. She says, "Dad, why is he wearing that face mask?"

The dad buckles his belt and says, "There's more for you, hunny."