My dad went out for milk. It's been 15 years and I still have to eat my cereal dry.
Dad: Hey son wanna here a joke?
Son: Sure thing, dad!
Dad: Your mother and I are getting a divorce. She found out that I was sleeping with the neighbors dog!
Son: I don't get the joke, dad.
Dad: It's my life son! My life is the joke.
My dad brought me some sunglasses but it still wasn't enough to keep my son out of my life.
I'm in jail for 5 minutes and I already got fucked 15 times. You don't have any ideea how much I hate playing monopoly with my dad.
*son* dad whats dark humor *dad* do you see the guy over there with no arms *son* no im blind.
Someone should start a vaping company with the slogan: "Vapes that hit harder than your dad." Sales would skyrocket.
"When you mom is pregnate and your best friend learns dad jokes" Me:.....
Dad joke time:
What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A Milkshake.
What do Jesus and I have in common? Our dads left us...
I cried when my dad was chopping Onions. Onions was a good dog.
What's the difference between herpes and my dad?...
Herpes stays around
son: can i go to my friends mum? mum: no! son: dad was right i am a son of a bitch! mum: bad news but your adopted!!
Why did mommy disapear: the dad: well, when she crossed the road to get to the chicken, she only made it halfway.
Kid. What is an orphans favorite breakfast? Teacher. What? Kid. Fruity pebbles with water Teacher. Why water? Kid. Cause it's dad never came back with the milk
I think my dads gay bc he goes out with his mates to get milk but never returns
What's the difference between my dad and my step dad? My step dad beat my ass before he left
What do you call it if your mom is a guy and ur dad is a woman?
Transparent
son: Dad i know i’m adopted dad: well how do you know son: i found the adoption papers dad: that is for your mum
if you know you know
My dad’s nickname for me is ‘Tiger’
Now, my wrists look like a tiger
My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends Chad just murdered his wife Claire and after doing that he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after My moms reply: Jesus Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess won’t he
