Dad jokes
Son: Dad, why did you name my sister Paris?
Dad: Because she was made there.
Son: Thanks, Dad.
Dad: You're welcome, Backseat.
Kid at Wish: I wish I could be Batman.
Doctor: Okay, shoots mum and dad. Doctor: I guess now you’ll have to be gay, you wanted to be like Batman.
Kid: Hey, Dad.
Dad: You're an hour late.
Kid: No, it was two hours. Also, I was working on math.
Dad: By yourself?
Kid: No.
Dad: A boy?
Kid: I was with the teacher.
I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home, there were signs everywhere.
My dad was such a good man. RIP, Osama bin Laden.
My dad is nice!
I was at school one day, and my teacher gave me homework. Once I got home, I did not do my homework, but I watched TV. After the movie, I finally went to go do my homework. I was almost done with my homework when I got to the last question. I didn't know the answer, so I asked the closest living being to me, which was my dog, and I asked him: what's two minus two? He said nothing.
Me: *finds out my dad's an orphan*
No one:
Literally no one:
Me: Time to make his life hell.😈
Tell an orphan "your mom", but then remember he doesn't have one.
Yo life got no meaning, just like your dad when he left. Like if it's a good one.
Why do orphans hate any milk?
Their dad did not come back for 10 years. Oh, sorry, he got lost in the store! 🤧
Life is better without my dad annoying me (him smacking me, screaming for something useless, limiting my screen time, and much more).
What’s worse than banging your sister?
Having to wear your dad’s wedding ring.
My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years.
I told him my dad never came back with it.
I saw your forehead and realized your mom and dad's foreheads were as big as yours. Also, you're gay.
Where did your dad go? Because I saw him at the milk shop. Oh wait, there isn't one.
Kariana: Dad and mom, what is this bullshit?
Treon: How did you find that?!
Kariana: It was under the cabinet where you told me to put the streamers. I found these under the cabinet, did she have another sister you didn't tell me about? Now tell the truth, or else!
Petina: Now what have we told you about going into things that are not yours!
Kariana: I just told you to say the fricking truth, now who is Faineni? Where is she? Who is she? What is her date of birth? Why do I have her bra under here and why....IS IT UNDER THE FRICKING CABINET!!!!! ANSWER ME!!!!!!!!!
Treon: We can't!
Kariana: BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!
I kicked my leg into my dad's balls in 1999.
My dad told me to stop with the suicide jokes, so I said I’ll cut it out.
People joking about 9/11.
Random kid: "You shouldn’t joke about that! I lost my dad on 9/11."
Oh.
"Yeah, he was the greatest pilot ever!"