how do u get a depressed person out of a tree..?
you cut the rope they hung them self in...
First Date: HE:"i work with animals every day!" SHE:"oh how sweet! what is it that you do?" HE:"I’m a butcher" SHE:“perfect i work with humans i just kill them by cutting them up!” HE:"so its you in the news paper?"SHE:"yes it was,wanna be next?" HE:"no!"
someone cutting the cheese then farted. someone sees the cheese and it smelled like crap(literally) he said, "who cut the cheese?
What does grass and Rachel Sutherland’s wrists have in common: nothing they both get cut
who did a barber win a race . he knew a short cut.
I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is "dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks " what's that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " fucking, fuck,fuck,Fuck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey.
One day a Chief was talking to his son..."Son," the father said, Long ago the Woman didn't have anybody to take her to BINGO. So, the Creator put the Woman to sleep and cut off her butt cheeks and made her a Man. That's why today Indian Women have no butt, and the Men are called Buttheads!"
I got so bad about cutting myself every time I went to the bathroom I wanted to break my jacket zipper off and use that
What's great about an emo pizza? It cuts its self yay
It’s been a terrible day today my ex got hit by a bus and died. Not only this but the council cut my bus drivers permit
Two men were were on a hike through a forest when on of the hikers got bit on his ass by a snake the other hiker ran to the village 2 miles away and explained to a doctor there what had happened the doctor told him to cut a cross with a knife where he had been bitten and suck out the venom so he ran back to the first hiker who asked him, ''have u got the cure'' hiker number two just said nah mate your dead
What’s the difference between my lawn and my wrists? Nothing, I cut both of them
I wish me dog was depressed so she can cut her own nails
What’s the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it’ll be delighted!
Cut
what did the hair dresser say to the power line want a power cut
What's an emo's favorite Pink Floyd album?
The Final Cut.
Hi how are you busy doing right I just text me and my dad was going home and walk home and I got home
a girl and her brother are walking in their garden POV:Brother. Sister:Why are you cutting those flowers?
Brother; because their beautiful!
Sister:I thought you said you cut yourself because you aren't.
Brother:......
