Cut jokes
What’s the difference between my lawn and my wrists?
Nothing, I cut both of them.
I wish my dog was depressed so she can cut her own nails.
What’s the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it’ll be delighted!
Cut.
What did the hairdresser say to the power line?
"Want a power cut?"
What's an emo's favorite Pink Floyd album?
The Final Cut.
Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted. Me and my dad were going home and walk home and I got home.
A girl and her brother are walking in their garden. POV: Brother. Sister: "Why are you cutting those flowers?"
Brother: "Because they're beautiful!"
Sister: "I thought you said you cut yourself because you aren't."
Brother:......
Got into a fight last night. We both had blades. He cut me deep. I thought I was gone, but he forgot to keep the water running.
Weird thing was that we were in the fight of our lives in the restroom and that guy kinda looked like me.
What do cutting boards and a suicidal teen's wrist have in common?
They both have cutting marks.
I wish my hair was depressed.
Cause then it would cut itself.
Why do people in wheelchairs get bullied? Because they can never stand up for themselves.
I wish my grass was edgy...
then it would cut itself...
We all hear cause we cut ourselves, right? I mean, JK.
My dad came over late at night. He was drunk. He started telling me how useless I was. Then I went to the kitchen, grabbed a knife, and stabbed him in the chest 47 times.
Three minutes later, he died. Now I’m losing my mind and cutting myself.
Only if onions were emo, they'd cut themselves.
Why was the depressed man happy in food-tech?
He got to cut himself.
Do you know why I wish grass was emo? So it can cut itself.
What ankle is getting cut off of school? The lights.
Why doesn't Helen Keller's kid have ears? She gave it its first haircut!