New Cut Jokes - Page 16 - Worst Jokes Ever

Got into a fight last night. We both had blades. He cut me deep. I thought I was gone, but he forgot to keep the water running.

Weird thing was that we were in the fight of our lives in the restroom and that guy kinda looked like me.

What do cutting boards and a suicidal teen's wrist have in common?

They both have cutting marks.

I wish my hair was depressed.

Cause then it would cut itself.

Why do people in wheelchairs get bullied? Because they can never stand up for themselves.

I wish my grass was edgy... then it would cut itself...

We all hear cause we cut ourselves, right? I mean, JK.

My dad came over late at night. He was drunk. He started telling me how useless I was. Then I went to the kitchen, grabbed a knife, and stabbed him in the chest 47 times.

Three minutes later, he died. Now I’m losing my mind and cutting myself.

Only if onions were emo, they'd cut themselves.

Why was the depressed man happy in food-tech?

He got to cut himself.

Do you know why I wish grass was emo? So it can cut itself.

What ankle is getting cut off of school? The lights.

Why doesn't Helen Keller's kid have ears? She gave it its first haircut!

How can you save a depressed person from a tree?

You cut the rope.

why did Stephen hawking die? Because there was a power cut

Why didn't the butcher cut the fillet?

Because it was a misteak.

So this guy named Andrew Furda was my boyfriend for like a half a week, so five days. Then bam, I cut my hair. He only liked me for my looks, and I hoped he regrets it because it is WAR, so if you see this, you're going down, Andrew!