Crys jokes

What's red, 6 inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry when I feed it to her?

Her miscarriage.

I started crying when dad was cutting onions.

Onions was such a good dog.

Three guys are on a plane: one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American. The pilot says, "There is too much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off." So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said, "I have plenty of these where I come from." Then the Asian threw out some rice and said, "I have plenty of these in my country." The American threw out a bomb and said, "I have a lot of these in my country."

The plane crashes anyway, and the three men start to walk away from the crash. As they were walking, they found a boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of burritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy." The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of rice fell out of the sky and shredded all my clothes." The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble. They kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny. The boy said, "MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!"

Why do orphans cry at insurance places?

They got offered the family plan.

There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.

Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck 😝

“I turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.”

The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.

Yo momma is so ugly, she made my Happy Meal cry.

My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...

So I threw a coconut at her.

(some kid crying because hes an orphan and kids are bulling him) teacher:HEY i was a orphan to so if you bully him your basicly trying to bully me too me:OOF teacher:now is somebody not here? me:your parents

I was crying because my dad was cutting onions...

Onions was a good dog.

Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry.

I started crying when my dad was chopping onions.

Onions was such a good dog!

What do you call an autistic person? Names.

I'm autistic myself, so don't go crying in my comment section.

What's the difference between a baby and an onion?

One cries when you peel its skin off, the other makes you cry when you peel its skin off.

At school, Bobby's classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, Bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with "Why are you crying?" Bobby says, "Someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die?" His mom looks him straight in the eye and says, "Depends, which one are you referring to?"

Don’t cry when you attend my funeral, I was dead long ago so why cry now?

Q: How do you make a door cry?

A: Twist its knob.

A man sees a crying woman by a pond. She is in a wheelchair and has no arms or legs.

He asks her why she is crying, and she answers that she has never been hugged. Feeling pity, he hugs her, then jogs away.

The next day, he finds her crying again, and she says she has never been kissed. The man kisses her and jogs away again.

On the third day, the man sees her crying and asks her thrice. She tells him she has never been fucked. The man picks her up and throws her in the pond, telling her, "You're fucked now!"

Me- *crying in the shower*

Also me- *why is my toaster in here?*