Why did the chicken want to cross the road? Because he was suicidal and wanted to get hit by a car.
Why can’t dinosaurs cross the road?
Because they’re dead.
Did Jesus cut his nails?
No! His nails cut through him.
Today, there was a big test for Little Timmy. During the test, Timmy had to take a really huge shit. So, he rushed to the bathroom. He took a while in there.
When he was done, he realized there was no more toilet paper left. Since there was nothing around him to use, the only thing he could do was wipe with his hand. His time in the bathroom was up, and he needed to finish that test! He didn’t have time to wash his hands. So, he hurried back. The problem was, the hand he wiped with was his right hand. He used his left hand to complete the test, which made him fail. When he got home, his mother was standing there crossing her arms. “Timmy, the teacher had called and said you wrote sloppy on your test. Why is that?” Timmy replied, “Oh, it’s because I caught a leprechaun with my right hand, but if I opened it, my classmates would scare him away, so I had to use my left.” Timmy’s mother glared at him with disbelief. “Timmy, I don’t believe you. Now open your hand!” Timmy did so and opened his hand. “See, mother? I said you’d scare the shit out of him!”
Why did the Indian cross the road?
To run away from the Pakistani.
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?
Lots of blood tests!
Why did the chicken cross the road to KFC?
He wanted to see a chicken strip.
Why did Pinocchio cross the road?
To get to the other lied.
What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?
Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
To Cock-A-Doodle Die. Now you have a rooster pancake. My favorite. ^^
Guess what you get when you cross a dark side and your king?
What’s a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross-country.
Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
Why didn’t the cat cross the road?
Answer: Because it’s a scaredy-cat.
Q: What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A: A red-headed bitch with a yeast infection.
Why did the retard cross the road?
He never made it!
I told a seal a joke, it went like this: "Why did the kid cross the playground?" He said, "Why?" I said, "To get to the other slide." And then he said, "That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!"
Why did the toad cross the road?
To show his girlfriend he had guts.
Hello! Why did the duck cross the road? To prove he wasn't chicken!
Paul Walker made a new wrap cover, it's called "Flying Through the Windshield," and the song's name is "Crossing the Street."
