Why did Severus Snape cross the road wearing an invisibility cloak?
So no one would know what side he was on.
Cross Jokes
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One serves the nailed to the cross, one nailed by her boss.
Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed receiving medical treatment soon after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit Bob and told him this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb peaking mountains, and cross low valleys."
Little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor.
Why did the homeless man stop to help the kids cross the street?
To get them into his van.
Why did the octopus cross the road?
'Cause he was on the same side as a sushi restaurant.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because North Korea's long-range missiles can't reach that far.
What do you get when you cross Donald Trump with Fregley?
Orange juice.
What was the last thing that crossed Princess Diana's mind?
The steering wheel.
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To get to the other side (suicide).
Why did the second hedgehog cross the road?
To see his flatmate.
Student: A plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left?
Teacher: 203
Student: How do you put an elephant in the fridge?
Teacher: You can't.
Student: Yes, you can. Open the fridge door, put the elephant in.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: Open the door, put in the giraffe?
Student: No, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe.
The Lion King is having a party, who isn't there?
Teacher: Let me guess, the lion.
Student: No, the giraffe, he's stuck in a fridge.
Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how?
Teacher: She stepped on the alligators?
Student: No, the alligators are at the party.
Sally dies anyway, how?
Teacher: She frowned?
Student: No, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.
What do you get when you cross breed a bear with a retarded person?
A feminist (a hairy and brainless beast).
Why did the serial killer cross the road? To get to the victim's house.
Knock, knock. Who's there? The serial killer.
Why did the condom cross the road?
Because he was pissed off.
What did the emo say before he crossed the road?
"Fuck my life."
What do you get when you cross a shark and a snowman?
Frostbite!
Why did Sally cross the road?
She didn’t wear her seatbelt.
Why did my foot cross the road?
Because your ass was on the other side.
Halloween joke:
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?
A blood test.
I was gonna make a joke about Mexicans but honestly, it crosses the line.
Why did my dad cross the road?
To get to the nearest building so he wouldn't die in the crippling smoke of the most terrifying and only terrorist attack on American soil.
