Cross jokes
Why did Pinocchio cross the road?
To get to the other lied.
What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?
Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.
Why did the chickens cross the road?
To get to KFC.
Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
I told a seal a joke, it went like this: "Why did the kid cross the playground?" He said, "Why?" I said, "To get to the other slide." And then he said, "That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!"
Memes
Why did the toad cross the road?
To show his girlfriend he had guts.
Why didn’t the cat cross the road?
Answer: Because it’s a scaredy-cat.
What's the difference between Jesus and a holy whore?
Jesus got pegged against a cross.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To get to the real estate agent.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he felt like it mind your f***ing business like damn.
Why did Michael Jackson cross the road?
To get to the opera.
What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a parakeet?
Shredded tweet!
Why did the skunk cross the road?
To get to the odor side!
What do you get when you cross a highway on a bike?
Run over.
What do you get when you cross a cold wind with a feather?
A brrrrrrrr-d!
Why did the orphan cross the street? Because they thought that mommy and daddy was on the other side.
A man is standing on the side of the road, waiting to cross, when another man stands alongside him. The first man says, "I have been waiting to cross here for ages. It's impossible to cross."
The second man says, "There is a zebra crossing up the road." He said, "I hope he is having better luck than I am!"
Best way to trick your friends:
A brick falls out of a plane.
How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, put him in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the poor elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the door.
The animal kingdom is throwing a party, all the animals are there except for one, who? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge.
Sally needs to cross the river that is known to be filled with deadly crocodiles, but she crossed safely, how? Because the crocodiles are at the party, but Sally still dies after crossing the river, how? Because she was hit by the flying brick.
Yo mama so fat it took her 3 seconds to cross the Great Wall of China.
Why did an Indian cross the road?
To take a shit.