Cross jokes
Paul Walker made a new wrap cover, it's called "Flying Through the Windshield," and the song's name is "Crossing the Street."
What did the emo say before he crossed the road?
"Fuck my life."
Why would the chicken not cross the road?
Because it's too old. (The joke is old.) (The chicken is old.)
Why did the blind man cross the road?
Don't ask me, he can't even see where he's going.
Why did the pedophile cross the road?
Because there was a school on the other side.
I can now cross it off my bucket list
What do you get when you cross a deer and a pickle?
A dildo.
Why can’t dinosaurs cross the road?
Because they’re dead.
Why do animals cross the road?
Because it is funny, do you say "dogs" and "cats?"
Why doesn’t Jesus trust humanity anymore?
Because he doesn’t wanna get double-crossed.
You don't need brains to be a Boss.
When the body was first created, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control all of the body's responses and functions."
The feet said, "We should be Boss since we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."
The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."
Finally, the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So, the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.
Within a short time, the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic, and the brain fevered. Eventually, they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!
Moral Of The Story: You don't need a brain to be a Boss----any asshole will do.
What happens when you cross a rhetorical question with a joke?
What do you get when you cross a shark and a snowman? Frostbite!
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because his parents couldn’t help him out!
What do you get if you cross a pig and a witch with sand?
A ham sandwich.
Why did the little boy cross the road multiple times? He stepped on an IED after being mutilated on a chopping block that was on fire with a table saw and multiple gallows which were infested with flaming termites with splotches of blood all over him from his eyes after they were squashed with a brick.
How did the fat person cross the road?
It rolled.
Student: A plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left?
Teacher: 203
Student: How do you put an elephant in the fridge?
Teacher: You can't.
Student: Yes, you can. Open the fridge door, put the elephant in.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: Open the door, put in the giraffe?
Student: No, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe.
The Lion King is having a party, who isn't there?
Teacher: Let me guess, the lion.
Student: No, the giraffe, he's stuck in a fridge.
Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how?
Teacher: She stepped on the alligators?
Student: No, the alligators are at the party.
Sally dies anyway, how?
Teacher: She frowned?
Student: No, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.
Why did the pedophile cross the road?
To get to the other preschool.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
Answer: Elephino.
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To get to the other side (suicide).
Why did the second hedgehog cross the road?
To see his flatmate.