People who are afraid of pedophiles... need to grow up.
What do you call an all-you-can-eat buffet for a pedophile? A school bus.
Why was the guitar teacher arrested?
For fingering a minor.
A lot of people claim that white privilege does not exist. Well, how the hell do you explain Michael Jackson not being charged for raping children, despite ample evidence?
I won't ever forget my dad's last words: "OH GOD THE POLICE!!!"
I like my girls how I like my wine, 12 years locked in the basement.
I just found out my ex got stabbed today... let's just say I lost my job as a butcher.
Why do orphans play GTA?
So they can feel wanted.
I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today. Unfortunately, it's only for victims.
Why did the coffee file a police report? -- Because it was mugged.
What do you call it when a Mexican and a pedophile fight?
Alien vs Predator.
What is a pedophile's favorite part about Halloween?
Free delivery.
A young boy was picked up by a strange young man who put him in his car and drove into an abandoned farm.
"This place looks scary," the kid said.
And the man replies, "I know right, I have to walk out of there alone."
Why did the depressed person rob a bank? Because you're not killing yourself if a cop does it for you!
What’s the hardest thing about being a rapist? Fitting in.
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I have been tripping all day!
A pedophile and a little boy are walking into the woods late at night.
The little boy says, "I'm scared."
The pedophile says, "You think you're scared? I have to walk back alone!"
So, some thieves robbed me the other day. They took everything I owned, except for the soap, towels, and deodorant.
Dirty bastards.
Last night I burned down an orphanage.
There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"
So I was sitting on the couch with a woman, and I asked her, "Does this napkin smell like chloroform?"
