Crime jokes
There was a kidnapping, but he woke up.
It's not easy to make good pedophilia jokes, because it's a very touchy subject.
Why can't orphans get 5 stars in GTA?
Because they're not wanted.
I dumped the dead, disabled person's body into a dumpster full of rats.
There was a school fire. I pushed the wheelchair kid into the fire and said, "Hot wheels!"
My brothers kept annoying me.
I told them I would disembowel them if they kept it up.
It was an empty threat—right after I was done.
What's a kidnapper's favorite shoe?
White Vans.
Imagine playing Subway Surfers in real life.
The creator's son tried that!
(My friends said to post this. I accept no responsibility.)
I have been charged, because I roasted a kid at a barbeque.
Why can't orphans be robbers?
Because they're not wanted.
Mommy, mommy! Are we drug dealers?
Shut up and cut the coke.
Your mama's so young your dad went to jail.
What Football Club does Mason Greenwood play for?
Prison FC
You call it a school shooting.
I call it an unfair shootout.
How did black people learn to steal sports cars?
By playing GTA nonstop.
A dead Russian is Trump's accountant.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Old man Jeffrey touches the youth.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Don’t worry, he woke up.
In my basement.
It's not a war crime if no one's alive to report it.
How do you turn rape into no rape? Steal her bank details for money transfer.