Crime jokes
Girl, are you a public school? Because I want to shoot my kids inside you.
Why does rapboat like underage girls? Cos grown ass girls are too clever for him.
What happens when you bring a paedophile to a baby's birthday party?
You will have even more birthday parties to go to.
What do you call an Indian eating cows? Mooove to jail.
My wife slept with another man and got pregnant. She told me 9 weeks later. I said it's ok and told her let's talk downstairs, so I pushed her down the stairs.
According to Christianity, Jesus is the son of a GODFATHER.
What did one slave owner say to the other slave owner when he couldn’t find his slave?
Don’t worry, I’ll rope him in.
"White on white crime, well ham rights crime anyway in Eastern Europe right now!"
When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid's Sketchers light up.
Why don't molestation victims speak up about their trauma? Because it's a touchy topic.
I like to commit arson as a recreational activity, you?
I miss the good old days when you could have a light joke at someone else's expense. Like doing that marital rape thing, it never used to be called that. It used to be called "serving your husband" or "wifely duties". The real joke is that it was legal until 1990.
Why is that a joke?
Because it is piss funny seeing the look on her face when she wakes up in the middle of coitus.
Why is that a joke?
Dude, come on, you want to start your day off happy or not?
Why is that a joke?
She literally looks like she just seen a ghost and sort of flops about trying to fend you off like a rag doll. It's piss funny.
No seriously, dude, why is that a joke? It sounds more like a felony.
What did the man say when his girlfriend threw sodium and chloride at him?
That’s assault!
There was a school fire. I pushed the wheelchair kid into the fire and said, "Hot wheels!"
P1: What's the difference between a kid and a hooker?
P2: I don't know.
P1: Wow, you sick fuck!
How to be a hero.
1. Tie a noose in your front yard.
2. Find and capture a furry.
3. Hang that furry because they deserve it.
It’s easy as 1-2-3!
Why won't an American atheist convert to the religion of Islam in the city of Dearborn, Michigan?
Because being on the sex offender list is the only requirement to be able to join a mosque in the city of Dearborn, Michigan.
Joke: CookVR
What do you call an Australian visiting the UK on holiday?
Returning to the scene of the crime.
If you combine math and meth, you will become Einstein White.