What do you call a black abortion clinic? Crime stoppers
My son told me he wanted to be Batman when he grows up that little shit wants to be gone down an alley
My best friend was Was recently gunned down in a drive-by shooting and died a virgin, but he wasn’t buried one
Police officers hope you’re a criminal. Doctors hope you get sick. Mechanics hope you get car troubles. But only thieves wish you prosperity. Weird?
Ted Bundy walks into a bar wearing all black. The bartender asks, “Whose funeral is it?” Ted Bundy looks around the room and replies, “I haven’t decided yet.”
Judge to the defendant: "Defendant, do you have a criminal record?" "No." "Have you always been honest?" "No, never been caught!"
Q. What’s black and blue and doesn’t like to have sex?
A. The little girl in my trunk.
imagine a white van. now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombre on and his arm out the window and on the side of the van it says free candy. but there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back
why does the please touch museum sounds like police touch musuem? because they gotta watch out for the pedos
the emo kid's mom went to jail cuz the kid was hung
What do you call a gangster involved with anime? A Cuz-Player.
I ran into a kid today now im in jail and i lost ma drivers license
orphans can be a robber if they want because their parents won't be dissapointed
Jim was caught beating a man up. Brooklyn took a picture of his license plate with her phone and told him your life is ruined. So Jim took a picture of her and the next thing you know he said is NOW MY PHONE IS RUINED.
Why did the robber take a shower before his robbery?
So he could make a clean getaway
You have been accused of stealing toilet rolls. How do you plead?
Quilty or Not Quilty?
The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals. I hacker, a rapist, a serial killer and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial decides that she want’s to change, but when she see a knife she just can’t help it. He bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist get teleported back to prison
What did the rape victim give to her rapist?
Head
People say rape is bad, it is because I don't want STD and HIV
Did you hear about the two burglars that stole a calendar? I hear they got six months each.
