Crime jokes
If you want to see my foes, bring a shovel and bring a map and a getaway car just in case we get caught.
Why did the police go to a baseball game?
Because a player stole the base.
What do you call a psychic midget in trouble with the law?
A small medium at large.
A straight man and a gay man are talking. The straight man says, "I'm wanted in 2 states for murder." and the gay man replies with, "Oh, that sucks. I'm wanted in 13 for existing."
A man is sitting on a bench at a playground where children are playing. A man named Chris comes up and asks, “Which one is yours?” The man said, “I don’t know, I’m still deciding.”
Title
It isn't really rape if you speak different languages. I mean, how is the man supposed to know what she is saying? Those could be tears of joy and screams of pleasure.
Did you hear about the ninja pedophile? No one saw him coming.
How do you verify a rape claim? You make it true, and then the person is a victim for sure.
Monkey Man's mortuary, you stab 'em, we slab 'em.
Stop hating on pedos; at least they drive slow in a school zone, smh 🤣
What is the pedophile's favorite shoe?
White vans.
I got arrested on suspicion of attempted rape all because I was carrying some cable ties, a bit of tape and a piece of cloth. It's such a joke, I hadn't even bought the chloroform yet.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 is a registered 6 offender.
Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
What's the difference between orphans and girlfriends? I don't have 100 girlfriends locked in my basement.
What do you say when you see your TV floating away at night?
"Drop it, Jamal!"
I wasn't cut out for running today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
He is looking for children. If you don't know who EDP445 is, look him up.
Be careful around EDP445.
I was digging a hole in the garden until I found some coins! I was about to tell my mum when I remembered I was digging a hole in the garden.
What's the difference between an escaped prisoner and an orphan?
Only one is wanted.