Crime jokes

Yo mama is so ugly she's the reason why Batman fights crime at night.

It isn't really rape if you speak different languages. I mean, how is the man supposed to know what she is saying? Those could be tears of joy and screams of pleasure.

Did you hear about the ninja pedophile? No one saw him coming.

How do you verify a rape claim? You make it true, and then the person is a victim for sure.

Monkey Man's mortuary, you stab 'em, we slab 'em.

Stop hating on pedos; at least they drive slow in a school zone, smh 🤣

What is the pedophile's favorite shoe?

White vans.

Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.

What's the difference between orphans and girlfriends? I don't have 100 girlfriends locked in my basement.

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 is a registered 6 offender.

Woman: "I want coffee, black."

Cop: *takes out gun* "WHERE?!"

I wasn't cut out for running today, but those cops came out of nowhere.

He is looking for children. If you don't know who EDP445 is, look him up.

Be careful around EDP445.

I was digging a hole in the garden until I found some coins! I was about to tell my mum when I remembered I was digging a hole in the garden.

What's the difference between an escaped prisoner and an orphan?

Only one is wanted.

What do you say when you see your TV floating away at night?

"Drop it, Jamal!"

Why do orphans wanna be a criminal?

So that they can be wanted.

First of all, if a woman sues Bill Cosby for drugging and rape 50 years ago, and she could still remember it, it couldn't have been all bad.

when Ted Bundy found out he was getting the death penalty, he was pretty shocked...

Did you hear about the kidnapping? Yeah, he woke up.