Monkey Man's mortuary, you stab 'em, we slab 'em.
Stop hating on pedos; at least they drive slow in a school zone, smh 🤣
Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
What's the difference between orphans and girlfriends? I don't have 100 girlfriends locked in my basement.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 is a registered 6 offender.
I was talking to my friend, and he said, "I lost my virginity to a girl, and then she stopped coming to school." And I said, "Probably because she was fired."
Woman: "I want coffee, black."
Cop: *takes out gun* "WHERE?!"
What do you find in Jeffrey Dahmer's shower?
Heads and shoulders.
I wasn't cut out for running today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
He is looking for children. If you don't know who EDP445 is, look him up.
Be careful around EDP445.
I was digging a hole in the garden until I found some coins! I was about to tell my mum when I remembered I was digging a hole in the garden.
What do you call a sneaky child molester?
Incogpedo.
What's the difference between an escaped prisoner and an orphan?
Only one is wanted.
I was blessed with a 9 inch penis.
The priest is in jail now.
All rape can be prevented. It's just a matter of semantics.
Why do orphans wanna be a criminal?
So that they can be wanted.
when Ted Bundy found out he was getting the death penalty, he was pretty shocked...
Did you hear about the kidnapping? Yeah, he woke up.
Apparently, someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.
Poor bastard.
Santa and Bill Cosby's favorite quote: "Don't be dumb, make sure they're numb, and always use a condom!"
