Crime jokes
What's the hardest thing about being a rapist?
My dick.
Why did the police go to a baseball game?
Because a player stole the base.
Apparently, someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.
Poor bastard.
What do you call a psychic midget in trouble with the law?
A small medium at large.
If you want to see my foes, bring a shovel and bring a map and a getaway car just in case we get caught.
Ohio getting out of hand
A straight man and a gay man are talking. The straight man says, "I'm wanted in 2 states for murder." and the gay man replies with, "Oh, that sucks. I'm wanted in 13 for existing."
Did you hear about the ninja pedophile? No one saw him coming.
How do you avoid getting raped? Just don't say no!
Monkey Man's mortuary, you stab 'em, we slab 'em.
Stop hating on pedos; at least they drive slow in a school zone, smh 🤣
What is the pedophile's favorite shoe?
White vans.
Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
What's the difference between orphans and girlfriends? I don't have 100 girlfriends locked in my basement.
Why are Indians such good actors?
Most of them are phone scammers.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 is a registered 6 offender.
What makes an ISIS joke funny?
The execution.
What’s worse than George Bush doing 9/11? Jeffrey Epstein doing nine Elevens.
What do you say when you see your TV floating away at night?
"Drop it, Jamal!"
I wasn't cut out for running today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
Q: How are Clocks like Pedophiles? A: They both stop at 12.