Crime jokes

These jokes are so dark they almost stole my bike.

So I was sitting on the couch with a woman, and I asked her, "Does this napkin smell like chloroform?"

What do Catholic priests and school shooters have in common?

They both like to dump their loads into little kids.

Why did the picture go to jail?

Cause it was framed!

As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.

Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.

Why do pedophiles never win a race?

Because they are always coming in a little behind.

Yo mama so dumb, she got hit by a cup and told the police she got mugged.

Stop hating on pedos. At least they drive slow in school zones.

What do pedophiles and Xboxes have in common?

They both get turned on by kids.

A little boy decided to burn a house down. The father put his arm around his wife, tears in his eyes, saying, "That's arson."

If you get pinched by a man in a wheelchair, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"

What can you say to make a rape victim feel better?

"It will be over soon."

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?

Gang rape.

What is a pedophile's favorite dating site?

Kinder

What’s a pedophile’s favorite shoe? White vans.

Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes.

What did the pedophile say when he got out of prison?

I feel like a kid again.

Why did the skeleton not rob the bank?

He did not have the guts!

I heard that Jimmy Savile never wanted to be famous... All he ever wanted was to settle down, and have kids.

What's the hardest part about being a paedophile?

Trying to fit in.