Crime jokes

A pedophile and a little boy are walking into the woods late at night.

The little boy says, "I'm scared."

The pedophile says, "You think you're scared? I have to walk back alone!"

A little boy decided to burn a house down. The father put his arm around his wife, tears in his eyes, saying, "That's arson."

These jokes are so dark they almost stole my bike.

Why did the picture go to jail?

Cause it was framed!

So I was sitting on the couch with a woman, and I asked her, "Does this napkin smell like chloroform?"

Last night I burned down an orphanage.

There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"

What do pedophiles and Xboxes have in common?

They both get turned on by kids.

Stop hating on pedos. At least they drive slow in school zones.

Why do pedophiles never win a race?

Because they are always coming in a little behind.

As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.

Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.

Yo mama so dumb, she got hit by a cup and told the police she got mugged.

What is a pedophile's favorite dating site?

Kinder

What can you say to make a rape victim feel better?

"It will be over soon."

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?

Gang rape.

Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes.

Urban areas are filled with terrorists, feminists, liberals, and murderers. Which one is not like the others? Murderers because they don't pretend to have a cause.

Gary Glitter was imprisoned for inappropriate relations with preteens. Not to be outdone, Kelly Clarkson exclaimed, "Hold my Bud Light!" whilst grasping her 1-year-old daughter.

I heard that Jimmy Savile never wanted to be famous... All he ever wanted was to settle down, and have kids.

What’s a pedophile’s favorite shoe? White vans.

What did the pedophile say when he got out of prison?

I feel like a kid again.