Crime jokes
The Pope drives around in a glass box, or as I like to call him, a sniper's dream.
POV: An Asian kidnapper kidnapped an Asian kid, and the kidnapper called the kid's mom. Then the mom said, "No, it's fine, my kid got a B, he failed." And the kidnapper let him go saying he doesn't need a failure.
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because at least they can be wanted!
Why can't an orphan be a criminal? Because they are not wanted.
Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven was a registered six offender.
I've been looking for my parents for years.
For the life of me, I can't remember where I hid their bodies.
I threw a kid in a wheelchair into a fire... I called him hot wheels.
Me and my friend have a friend that's in a wheelchair, but he is so annoying, so we throw him in a fire. Now we call him "Hot Wheels."
I took my mother-in-law out today...
I love being a sniper.
How did the guy rob the water park?
He used a water gun!
LOL 💦🔫💧🌊
Vince Li doesn't eat comedians. He says they taste funny.
How did the gay man die? Homicide.
A guy walks into a bar with a 44 magnum and yells, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" The guy behind the bar says, "Mate, you don't have enough bullets!"
Roses are red, violets are blue, don't let your kids next to Prince Andrew.
Win a free ride in a police car! Just pick up a knife and use it!
Hit'em with the Ted Bundy.
Jefferey Dahmer asked his husband a question.
His husband said, "What's your question?"
Jefferey Dahmer said, "You want to know what is my favorite type of tree?"
His husband said "Yes?"
Jefferey said, "Morning Wood, now take off your pants!"
Suicide is illegal because it's a crime to destroy government property.
What's the good thing about child perverts?
They drive slow in a school zone.
Q. What's the difference between people and a toilet?
A. Neither does R. Kelly.