Crime jokes
Was busy robbing a house as quietly as possible and saw a woman catching me in the act, decided to get her in on the act and gave away my location from the noise.
Why [doesn't] Hollywood make a good movie about holocausts?
Because it's so hard to skin Jewish characters.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A Kinder Joy.
One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.
What is Batman like?
He is an orphan.
How do you help a rape victim on a diet lose 7 pounds?
Kill her afterwards.
"Ahoy, Spongebob! I just committed homicide in Syria, and the one-party state is after my fucking ass! Argagagagagaga!"
A man assaulted me with milk, cheese, and butter.
How dairy!
Why did the terrorist not get paid, but they loved their job?
They di2s drying plans.
When Chris Brown heard he wasn’t the only one to hit a woman.
Stop the cap.
How do rappers stay organized?
They keep their rap sheets in order.
What do you call it when you're trying to find out what someone had for lunch?
An ingestigation.
Q. What happens when a pedophile spills his coffee? A. It leaves an EP-stain.
"Lock him up, you know, Trump!"
They killed a whole family of crows... It was a murder!
They killed a bunch of ravens... What a conspiracy!
What does a child molester and a Catholic priest have in common? They both prey at church.
There were two sisters. They said they were supporting nine eleven, so I shot one of the sister's kneecaps, and the other sister got shot in the head.
What did Pepper say to Spray?
"Hey Spray, I'm Pepper, and I think we should fight crime!"
This account is run by a peadophile.
What do you call a chomo on the road? Roadkill.