Crime jokes
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
To be wanted.
Why was the belt placed under arrest?
For holding up a pair of pants. 🤣
Q: What’s the difference between a sleeping lady and an onion?
A: One doesn’t scream when you try to chop it up.
When a redhead commits a mass shooting, does the headline read, "Ginger snaps"?
What did Jarrah say to Hanjour?
Why did the orphan rob a bank?
For he can be wanted.
Person: So, Jimmy, what do you do all day?
Jimmy Savile: Anyone who I can do.
I read a book on the Tracy Latimer case the other day.
It was a gas.
How do you stop a terrorist from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.
The hardest part of picking up a hitch hiker is tying them up.
One time, a man got mad at me because I was hitting on his girlfriend. Like come on, man, it was only a couple of bruises!
How do we know the Ancient Egyptians were into organized crime?
They were always using pyramid schemes!
If a woman named Susan gets murdered, is it considered a Sue-icide?
They laughed at my crayon drawing.
So I laughed at their chalk outline.
I ate a man because he was dead!
"What do you do with your free time?"
"I stalk."
"Really? I enjoy walks in the park, going to the movies, and hanging out with friends."
"I know."
Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 was a registered *sex* offender.
Man: Could you hold this for me?
Kid: Ok mister! I love playing with a pew pew! Pow! Pew! Pew! Bang! *GUNSHOT*
Man: Dammit, now who am I gonna put in the van?!
An orphan can’t ever play Grand Theft Auto V because he can’t get a wanted level.
Why would you shoot up an innocent school... if your aimbot's dead and you can't commit headshots only?