Crime jokes
What does Johnny Depp hate about driving a car?
He can't drink and drive.
What's the difference between me and a registered sex offender?
I am not registered.
Are you a white van? Because I would love to put children in you.
Q: What did Chris Brown say when he first saw Rhianna?
A: I'd hit that.
Did you know that people say Michael Jackson only became a pedophile when he was white?
Lucky for him, if he was black he would have been found guilty.
Memes
What is Michael Jackson's favorite snack? 5 year old whiners.
How do you get a boy to share something? Bring in Michael Jackson's bed.
What is Jeffrey Dahmer's favorite song?
"Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes."
What does Jeffrey Dahmer and Travis Scott have in common?
Eight dead people.
What is a pedophile's favorite age range?
9-11.
What is the day parents stopped fearing for their little boys? June 25, dead pedo day.
When I’m bored, I text a random number, “I hid the body... now what?”
Michael Jackson and Jeffrey Epstein walk into a bar. But a few minutes later, they would walk out, because you have to be 21+. No room for those two.
What’s the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and a priest?
They both like lil' boys.
I have a question: Does aging affect corpses, too?
Just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!
Why are orphans good at being a criminal?
Because they're not wanted.
What's the difference between my girlfriend and my uncle?
My girlfriend didn't go to jail for loving me.
Everybody loves guns!
Every time I show them mine, they give me free stuff.
"This morning, I came out my front door to see my neighbor frantically trying to scrub off the word "PEDO" that had been spray-painted on his front window."
"What's been going on, John?" I asked.
"Fucking kids," came his mumbled reply.
The dirty bastard!
I put someone in a wheelchair into the fire and called him "hot wheels."