Crime

Crime jokes

Bed

How do you get a boy to share something? Bring in Michael Jackson's bed.

Song

What is Jeffrey Dahmer's favorite song?

"Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes."

Memes

Pedo

What is the day parents stopped fearing for their little boys? June 25, dead pedo day.

Body

When I’m bored, I text a random number, “I hid the body... now what?”

Necrophilia

I have a question: Does aging affect corpses, too?

Just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!

Airport

I guess making 9/11 jokes at the airport is better than shouting "He's got a gun!" at the airport.

Girlfriend

What's the difference between my girlfriend and my uncle?

My girlfriend didn't go to jail for loving me.

Gun

Everybody loves guns!

Every time I show them mine, they give me free stuff.

Neighbor

"This morning, I came out my front door to see my neighbor frantically trying to scrub off the word "PEDO" that had been spray-painted on his front window."

"What's been going on, John?" I asked.

"Fucking kids," came his mumbled reply.

The dirty bastard!

Gold

A man found a chest full of gold, so he went to go tell his wife, only to remember why he was digging.

Orphan

Why did the orphan become a killer?

Because he knew they would not look for him.

Download

"You are under arrest for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia!"

"Wait! I can explain everything!"

Bike

When I was little, I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike. I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead, I just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.