Crime jokes
What is the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?
A prostitute can wash their crack and resell it.
"911, what’s your emergency?" I asked, listening to the quiet sobs of a little kid on the other end of the line.
“I think my daddy want to kill me,” the girl said and cried, making me freeze on the spot as I recognized my daughter’s voice.
Q: Why did the cat get arrested?
A: He was caught littering.
Why did the orphan commit crimes? To know what it's like to be wanted.
Someone stole my grass today. I went to the police, and they said: "What's wrong?" I said, "How could you tell something was wrong?" They replied, "You were looking forlorn."
Memes
Dont get mad when i post it on Average_Ohion cuz this is my alt im Average_Ohion
What did the bee say after the execution? "The criminal has been beeheaded!"
A child and a child molester walk into a forest together. The child turns to the molester and says, "Boy, these woods are scary." The molester says to the child, "You think you're scared? I have to walk out of here alone."
Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"
Some people think prison is one word, but to criminals, it’s a whole sentence.
Do you know what's in common between a hitman and a photographer?
They all shoot people for a living.
What do you call a Portuguese who commits a crime in Las Vegas?
Consensual Rapper 7.
Why is prostitution illegal?
Because when it comes to screwing people and taking their money, the government doesn't want anyone outperforming them.
What is the difference between the government and organized crime?
Only one of them is organized.
What do you call a movie at Bill Cosby’s house?
Netflix and pill.
What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
A policeman walks up to a van with two priests and says, "We're looking for two child molesters."
The priests both look at each other for a moment and then say, "Okay, we'll do it."
What does Johnny Depp hate about driving a car?
He can't drink and drive.
What's the difference between me and a registered sex offender?
I am not registered.
Are you a white van? Because I would love to put children in you.
Q: What did Chris Brown say when he first saw Rhianna?
A: I'd hit that.