Crime jokes
What's a rapist's fav position?
Missionary in a dark corner.
What do you call being run over by Michael Jackson?
Being hit by... Being struck by... A smooth criminal.
What's the difference between what Bill Cosby did and what OJ Simpson did? OJ Simpson's victims actually suffered and I actually feel bad for them (the boyfriend at least).
What's a paedophile's favorite footwear?
White Vans.
Kobe would still be alive if he would have gone to jail for raping that girl.
Memes
joe: Are your mom and dad nice?
zozo: Well, they were until I murdered them over a bottle of Pringles.
joe: Oh, so you are an orphan and a murderer.
I like my wine like how I like my women: 10 years old and locked in a basement.
Do you know why pedos get away with molesting orphans? Who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.
I was trying to poison Santa, but he killed my dad and ate all the cookies! 😤
What's the difference between baby Jesus and the baby I keep in my basement?
Baby Jesus died a virgin.
Things you never want to do in jail:
- Never piss off an inmate. - Don’t start fights with the cops. - Don’t drop the soap. - Don’t run away from the cops.
Did you know that people say Michael Jackson only became a pedophile when he was white?
Lucky for him, if he was black he would have been found guilty.
Do you know what's in common between a hitman and a photographer?
They all shoot people for a living.
What does Jeffrey Dahmer and Travis Scott have in common?
Eight dead people.
What do you call a black abortion clinic?
Crime Stoppers.
What do you call a religious drug addict?
A crystal methodist.
What is Jeffrey Dahmer's favorite song?
"Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes."
What do you call a Portuguese who commits a crime in Las Vegas?
Consensual Rapper 7.
Some people think prison is one word, but to criminals, it’s a whole sentence.
When I’m bored, I text a random number, “I hid the body... now what?”