A child and a child molester walk into a forest together. The child turns to the molester and says, "Boy, these woods are scary." The molester says to the child, "You think you're scared? I have to walk out of here alone."
Crime Jokes
Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"
Some people think prison is one word, but to criminals, it’s a whole sentence.
Do you know what's in common between a hitman and a photographer?
They all shoot people for a living.
What do you call a Portuguese who commits a crime in Las Vegas?
Consensual Rapper 7.
Why is prostitution illegal?
Because when it comes to screwing people and taking their money, the government doesn't want anyone outperforming them.
What is the difference between the government and organized crime?
Only one of them is organized.
What do you call a movie at Bill Cosby’s house?
Netflix and pill.
What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
A policeman walks up to a van with two priests and says, "We're looking for two child molesters."
The priests both look at each other for a moment and then say, "Okay, we'll do it."
What does Johnny Depp hate about driving a car?
He can't drink and drive.
What's the difference between me and a registered sex offender?
I am not registered.
Are you a white van? Because I would love to put children in you.
Q: What did Chris Brown say when he first saw Rhianna?
A: I'd hit that.
Did you know that people say Michael Jackson only became a pedophile when he was white?
Lucky for him, if he was black he would have been found guilty.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite snack? 5 year old whiners.
How do you get a boy to share something? Bring in Michael Jackson's bed.
What’s the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and a priest?
They both like lil' boys.
What is the day parents stopped fearing for their little boys? June 25, dead pedo day.
Why are orphans good at being a criminal?
Because they're not wanted.
