Crime jokes
A man was hitting a woman with his d*ck. Someone ran up to the man and said, "That's domestic violence!" The man replied with, "No, it's not domestic violence, it's dumbass-d*ck violence!"
What does a sex offender that is a lesbian have in common with a sex offender that is a feminist?
They only performed cunnilingus on girls under 18 years old.
What did Jeff Dahmer say to the gays? Get over here and let me give you so much anal to where you die, DADDY! UWU!
"I'm the big man, catching the kids in my big van." - Ben 2021
Why don't molestation victims speak up about their trauma? Because it's a touchy topic.
Why can’t orphans be criminals?
Because they’re not wanted!
Why did the teacher get arrested?
He gave the orphan homework!
Why can't George Floyd breathe? He had a knee on his neck, stupid.
This girl came to me and said, "I got raped in my sleep!"
I replied, "I done it as a joke."
-April 1, 2020
What's the difference between orphans and girlfriends? I don't have 100 girlfriends locked in my basement.
You know what the worst thing about gang rape is?
Having to wait your turn.
What is the pedophile's favorite shoe?
White vans.
A gay rapist saves a female rape victim, then rapes the rapist.
What do you call a psychic midget in trouble with the law?
A small medium at large.
Yesterday during the storm, there was a blackout, so I shot him.
How many babies does it take to replace a light bulb? I'm guessing more than 10 cause it's still dark in my basement.
My wife said, "Why oh why have you ordered carpet, our house is lovely?"
Thankfully the carpet was put to good use in the end, no more stupid comments coming from a rolled up Emily in the bottom of the ocean!
What makes piracy and anti-piracy so unique?
One isn't that of a thief, while the other is as serious as fuck.
Two teenagers were raping an 11-year-old girl in an alley, so I stepped in to help. The little bitch didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
Digga D, I'm a well known bandit, bandit. Had a new mash, just landed. Jheez, cop it, chop it, sand it, hand it. The verbal ting I can't stand it. Wife and two, got tanned when I banged it. Mad ting. Got a conspiracy case in the silliest Place, they're saying that I planned it, damn it. Back on a Feltham landing. You ain't been in the hood like Robin. I ride in hoods tryna leave man red (Crud). The sweets are goldy, yola drops and lots of dred (Maud). No porkies, pepper them pigeons, they chase this ped. Gyal tryna give man noddy, She ain't got balls in her tongue that's dead.