Crime jokes
What does a pedophile call an orphanage?
A supermarket.
What do gay men and drug dealers have in common?
They both get a lot of crack.
Cop: "I'm arresting you for downloading the entire Wikipedia."
Man: "Wait! I can explain everything!"
Yesterday, there was a blackout on my street.
So I sold them.
What did Chris Brown say the first time he saw Rihanna?
I’d hit that.
Most people call it grave robbing...
I prefer to call it cryptocurrency.
"It's not a war crime if you win the war."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!
Officer: You OK, kid?
Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.
Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*
When officer leaves:
Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?
A teenager went into a creepy house with his 3 friends. Only 2 came out. Where are the others?
(Getting brutally murdered.)
Why do prepubescent orphan girls love pedophiles? Because they get to call someone “Daddy”.
Found this girl in Hawaii.
Put a stick up her ass and she said, "Ayi."
What happens when a battery commits a crime? They get charged!
What did the duck say to the drug dealer?
Gimme some of that quack!
Who are the best at bowling?
Terrorists, they always throw strikes.
An eight-year-old girl struggles to breathe as she lies on a hospital bed and waits for the doctor to come. After the doctor comes, he pulls his cock out of her mouth, and she can breathe much better.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 broke into a daycare and ate 12 children before burning the building down.
What’s the difference between a child and someone who has been kidnapped?
One of them is a domesticated pet.
Why do orphans play GTA so much?
Because they can be wanted for once.
Why are half the orphans missing? Because I took them, of course! :]
I watch my parents sleep with a knife in my hands. Only got caught once.