When I saw a dead body on the ground and my editor was filming, I told him to censor that a-hole. When I saw the completed product, he censored me. Then I killed him.
"Hippity hoppity, the school shooter spotted me."
"Suicide is a murder, and my body should go to jail."
Rape isn't a joke.
It's a type of way of making friends and to mate with other women.
It's a way of art, and works on anybody!
Like this if you agree.
Why did the serial killer cross the road? To get to the victim's house.
Knock, knock. Who's there? The serial killer.
I don't like the term "kidnapping." I prefer "surprise adoption."
Three nuns are having a charity in front of the church.
A man in a trench coat walks up and flashes the three nuns. The first nun had a stroke, the second nun had a stroke, but the third nun, her arm was too short.
Why did the orphan play GTA? Because he wanted to feel the wanted level.
Orphan kids only play GTA5 so they can be wanted.
At the age of 100, you get a letter from the Queen. At 12, you get a DM from Prince Charles.
I just got a job at the prison library.
It has its prose and cons.
Do you know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Do you know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?
Yes, I know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Yes, I know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane.
What do you call an egg murder?
An eggs-terminator!
Why did Michael Jackson love melted chocolate? Because he could pour it on his cock, then get a prepubescent boy to suck it off.
What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?
They both shoot when they see kids.
A news headline read: "A toddler has shot a person every week in the US for two years straight."
He was in the infantry.
If Jesus told you to trust everyone, that must be why there are a lot of kidnappings.
"I have cancer," the doctor said. "I have 3 days to live," but I was like "fuck it" and killed him. The jury said, "I have life in prison." I shouted, "Yes!" He said, "Thank you, you saved my life!"
Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning? He ate 12-year-old nuts and a 13-year-old wiener.
Where do rape victims buy their clothes from?
The kids section.
