Crime jokes
A child, molester, and priest walk into a bar.
He orders a drink.
Cop: "I'm arresting you for downloading the entire Wikipedia."
Man: "Wait! I can explain everything!"
If a wizard gets robbed by a muggle, has he been muggled?
Me going to jail for telling the orphan he has 363 days because mothers and Father’s Day.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Man: *steals drink*
Boy: bro😭😭
Man: Why are u crying over a drink?
Boy: That had drugs.
Man: ....
Where's the best place to hide a body? In the second page of Google search results.
What's a terrorist's favorite car? A Porsche 9/11.
What’s the difference between a child and someone who has been kidnapped?
One of them is a domesticated pet.
Where do spiders commit crimes?
The Dark Web.
A teenager went into a creepy house with his 3 friends. Only 2 came out. Where are the others?
(Getting brutally murdered.)
I stole a wheelchair. I knew the owner would come crawling back.
Jeffrey Dahmer and his mother are having dinner.
His mother says, “I don’t like your friends.”
Then Jeff says, “You can eat the potatoes.”
What happens when a battery commits a crime? They get charged!
What does a pedophile call an orphanage?
A supermarket.
"It's not a war crime if you win the war."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
So I told the officer, "I can't even walk when I'm sober."
Why was Six afraid of Seven?
Because 7 was accused of the murder of 26 children.
Yep, this happens when you play G.T.A., good God!
What time do terrorists arrive in New York City?
9:11 AM