Crime jokes
What does a serial killer make for breakfast?
Scrambled legs and toes.
Why are Indians such good actors?
Most of them are phone scammers.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
Why didn't R. Kelly go to Germany to fuck teens? The legal age there is 14...Like bro hop on a plane and fuck a 14 year old hooker!
Where's a cannibal's favorite place to eat?
Chili's, because they got them baby back ribs.
I lost my driver's license today. I hit my ex with my car.
What is the difference between Michael Jackson and my uncle? Nothing, they both steal children.
If a woman gets raped, just walk away, don't bother. Cheer on the rapist if you want.
They believe they are equal to men, right? So they are able to fight back, right? Then prove it! My EQUALITY!
Why is 4/20 such an epic date?
Because it's weed day, Columbine, AND Hitler's birthday;)
If being sexy was a crime, you can call me......... a law-abiding citizen.
EatDatPussy445, aka Deyione Scott-Wilson Eason, aka Bryant Turman Emerson Moreland, is a pedophile, and he is in Las Vegas right now. Go, go, go, catch him!
Today, I saw my friend go crazy eating her ham sandwich. When she went to the bathroom, I checked inside her ham sandwich, and there were fresh drugs.
I would rather be drugged and robbed by Cardi B than listen to her f***ing music.
These girls were bullying a kid. I asked if they were raping him. They stopped.
Someone burgled my house the other day. It was terrible.
They ripped all of the front and back pages of my dictionaries. Things went from bad to worse.
Why do orphans wanna be a criminal?
So that they can be wanted.
What do the Nicaraguan Contras, Crips, and Crack have in common? The CIA.
What do you call getting assaulted by a gay man? Fruit punch.
Did you hear about the terrorist comedian?
He was actually quite funny...
He just blew the delivery.
(I'll show myself out).
Once upon a time, there was a man named Daniel. He was blind and deaf, and he worked at a morgue.
So, one time poor Dan got confused and started having sex with the rotting corpse.
He then came home and thought he was at the morgue, so he started disintegrating his sleeping wife.