Crime jokes
Teacher: Students, tomorrow bring your parents to the open house.
Student one orphan: I don't have any.
Student 2: What is the difference between you and an escaped prisoner?
Student one orphan: What!
Student 2: The prisoner gets picked.
What shoes does a pedophile wear?
White vans.
Why did the kid who was blind, in jail, need light to see? He didn't, he needed to braille his way out.
What did one orphan say to another orphan?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin!"
A man found a chest full of gold, so he went to go tell his wife, only to remember why he was digging.
What was a pedophile's hardest thing? Fitting in!
How many babies does it take to replace a light bulb? I'm guessing more than 10 cause it's still dark in my basement.
What does Earl Bradley and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
Why didn't the 6th of Jan go well? Cause the shitty Trump supporters didn't carry out the damn job correctly and let the president down. Also, hang Mike Pence!
What's the difference between a zit and a Catholic priest?
A zit will wait 'til 12 before it cums on your face.
Someone kills an emotionally weak person by hard words and bullying.
No one will suspect the killer was anyone who took part.
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of the crime?
I think they just hacked the "chrime."
You know you have a domestic abuse problem when you beat your dick.
What is red, bubbling, and scratching at a window?
A baby in the microwave.
What do you call it when a Mexican and a pedophile fight each other?
Alien vs. Predator.
Yo mama's so stupid, when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting, "Wait, you forgot the remote!"
Why did the guitarist go to prison?
'Cause he fingered A minor.
My father told me to always carry a women's bag, but I don't know why he called the cops on me when I helped Mom's bag when we went parachuting. :(
"Man, your jokes about homicide are totally killer!"
Why can orphans get away from the FBI?
Because they don't have a house.