Crime jokes
What do you call a fat man with a rape whistle? Hogan!
What is George Floyd's pickup line?
You are breathtaking.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite toy?
Wet 6-year-old balls.
"Yes, officer! It was a requirement to run over that child. It matched perfectly with the beat drop!"
One thing led to another, now I have a new patio.
What is it called when Bill Cosby and an illegal immigrant fight?
Aliens vs. Predator
Do orphans love doing crime?
'Cause they want to be wanted.
What’s the difference between prison and concentration camps?
At least you don’t die when you shower.
What is the perfect job for a pedophile?
A physical doctor for kids.
A sandwich is a sandwich, but a Manwich is a meal.
-- Jeffery Dahmer
What do Priests and School shooters have in common?
They both blast little kids in the face.
So today I heard a friend say she had a stalker. I can confirm I've never seen a stalker following her.
These murder jokes are just KILLING me!
I ate a man because he was dead!
Q: Name a murderer?
A: Jews: Hitler. Russians: Stalin. Chinese: Mao. Americans: Bin Laden. Aborted fetus: My mom.
If Hillary and Biden got locked in a room together, all they would talk about is how to ruin America and make a plan to steal children.
Why did the orphan commit a bank robbery?
So he could be wanted.
I am crying tears of joy rn. I was wrongfully sentenced to death. They took me to prison to wait for my execution, but when I got there, they said that I was free. I asked them why and they told me that a man named Penaldo had taken my death penalty for me. Thank you, Penaldo!
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
What’s the difference between a thief and a pervert?
One will snatch your watch, the other will watch your snatch.