Crime jokes
What does a cop say when you shoot a ginger?
I guess orange is the new black.
"Why did the band teacher get arrested?"
"For fingering a minor." Ahaha, so funny!
I just got a job at the prison library.
It has its prose and cons.
Where do rape victims buy their clothes from?
The kids section.
At the age of 100, you get a letter from the Queen. At 12, you get a DM from Prince Charles.
I lost my dog. I probably shouldn't have named him "rape."
When is a rapist safe around children?
When his plans are oven ready.
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a pimple? You never see a pimple come on a little boy’s face.
What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?
They both shoot when they see kids.
My dad has the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
I don't like the term "kidnapping." I prefer "surprise adoption."
What kind of shoes does a kidnapper wear?
White vans.
What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.
I found a chest of gold in my garden the other day. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it.
Then I remembered why I was digging in my garden.
Somebody called the cops for a school shooting, what a snitch!
What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?
Sexy kids.
What's a rapist's favorite scale?
C Minor.
Oh, sh**! I'm late for my interview! Do you know where the nearest sex offender registry is?
EatDatPussy445, aka Deyione Scott-Wilson Eason, aka Bryant Turman Emerson Moreland, is a pedophile, and he is in Las Vegas right now. Go, go, go, catch him!
Why did the homeless man stop to help the kids cross the street?
To get them into his van.