What happens when a battery commits a crime? They get charged!
Crime Jokes
Found this girl in Hawaii.
Put a stick up her ass and she said, "Ayi."
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 broke into a daycare and ate 12 children before burning the building down.
Dude,
if you stab a cereal box, will that make you a cereal killer?
Why does Batman cover half of his face? To let the police know that he's white.
What did the duck say to the drug dealer?
Gimme some of that quack!
What is the best feeling for an orphan when he plays Grand Theft Auto?
When he is wanted!
Who are the best at bowling?
Terrorists, they always throw strikes.
Why did the hooker fall in love? Stockholm syndrome.
Why are orphans so good at GTA?
Because they're not wanted.
Man 1: Hey, I heard you survived a school shooting. What was it like?
Man 2: People were screaming and running everywhere. I was only able to get a few of them.
My last 15 minutes as a 23 y/o!!
It's not my birthday, but a scary-looking man with a crowbar just broke into my house.
What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner? A kong-vict.
Why do blondes make bad bank robbers?
Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards.
Where do spiders commit crimes?
The Dark Web.
What is a shark’s favorite TV show? Sea-S-I.
I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
Why did the gorilla leave the mafia headquarters for good?
Why does it take so long for the pirates to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years on C! Pirate: A, B, sea?
Get a head in life by decapitating someone.
