Crime jokes

So I got these new shoes, except they were from a drug dealer.

Now I don't know what they were laced with, but I was trippin' all day.

What did the frog say to the pedophile?

Once, there was a man that was coming to my house and peeing in my yard. Then the man came back to my house and flopped his penis everywhere and peed at the same time, and it went all over my face.

So the next day, he came back, and I got my BB gun and shot a metal BB into his peepee.

This didn't actually happen.

I groomed 2 minors today.

"Yes, officer! It was a requirement to run over that child. It matched perfectly with the beat drop!"

I'm in the alagba association. Call 666-666-666 to join the gang. It's free and free kills duidui.

"Rape is funny until it's your little sister or daughter getting raped."

Rapist: Rape doesn't hurt anybody.

Victim: (Implied response indicating the rapist is wrong)

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?

He wiped his ass.

What do you say when you see your TV floating away at night?

"Drop it, Jamal!"

How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?

More than five because my basement is still dark.

I pushed a disabled kid into a fire and called him "hot wheels."

What 3 words started Jeffery Dahmer's cannibalism?

"This isn't ketchup."

What do you call a psychic dwarf on the run? A small medium at large.

What's orphans favorite game to play?

GTA5 because they want to be wanted!

I was watching the news and heard a segment about a blind hooker who got stabbed 40 times.

At least she didn't see it coming.

My friend had this annoying little kid that always used to yell and scream when he didn't get what he wanted. I told my friend there's a new attraction a few states away he could take him to.

Confused, my friend asked me what it was. I told him, "The Sandy Hook Experience: Where you come in and leave with a 'hole' lot of fun."

What type of file do you need to turn a 14 centimeter hole into a 40 centimeter hole?

A pedophile.

What do you call a Chinese car thief?

Tommy Tookamota.

Why do so many people get charged with rape? Because they are too stupid to finish her off and bury the body.