Crime jokes
Q: What kind of person has 100% ambition and never gives up if someone gets in their way?
A: A rapist.
What do ICE and Mexican drug cartels both have in common?
They both kidnap Canadian women!
What does a cop say when you shoot a ginger?
I guess orange is the new black.
"Why did the band teacher get arrested?"
"For fingering a minor." Ahaha, so funny!
I just got a job at the prison library.
It has its prose and cons.
Where do rape victims buy their clothes from?
The kids section.
At the age of 100, you get a letter from the Queen. At 12, you get a DM from Prince Charles.
I lost my dog. I probably shouldn't have named him "rape."
When is a rapist safe around children?
When his plans are oven ready.
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a pimple? You never see a pimple come on a little boy’s face.
What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?
They both shoot when they see kids.
I don't like the term "kidnapping." I prefer "surprise adoption."
What kind of shoes does a kidnapper wear?
White vans.
What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.
I found a chest of gold in my garden the other day. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it.
Then I remembered why I was digging in my garden.
Somebody called the cops for a school shooting, what a snitch!
What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?
Sexy kids.
What's a rapist's favorite scale?
C Minor.
Oh, sh**! I'm late for my interview! Do you know where the nearest sex offender registry is?
EatDatPussy445, aka Deyione Scott-Wilson Eason, aka Bryant Turman Emerson Moreland, is a pedophile, and he is in Las Vegas right now. Go, go, go, catch him!