Crime jokes

Why did the teacher get arrested?

He gave the orphan homework!

The interviewer asked me if I had a criminal record when I was requesting Australian citizenship.

I replied, "No. Is that still required?"

What is a pedophile's favorite piano note?

A Minor.

Two guys in a car get pulled over by a cop. The cop taps the window, and the window rolls down. "Good evening, gentlemen, we're looking for two pedophiles."

The guy quickly closes the window. Ten seconds later, he lowers it again and says, "Ok, we'll do it."

Yep, this happens when you play G.T.A., good God!

Me going to jail for telling the orphan he has 363 days because mothers and Father’s Day.

So I told the officer, "I can't even walk when I'm sober."

Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.

Man: *steals drink*

Boy: bro😭😭

Man: Why are u crying over a drink?

Boy: That had drugs.

Man: ....

Where's the best place to hide a body? In the second page of Google search results.

What's a terrorist's favorite car? A Porsche 9/11.

What do gay men and drug dealers have in common?

They both get a lot of crack.

What did Chris Brown say the first time he saw Rihanna?

I’d hit that.

Yesterday, there was a blackout on my street.

So I sold them.

Cop: "I'm arresting you for downloading the entire Wikipedia."

Man: "Wait! I can explain everything!"

I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun. Now it’s an assault rifle.

Did you know that a majority of the U.S. is afraid of the dark?

Especially if they are right behind you at the ATM.

A white woman was caught on video using racial slurs and assaulting two black students. She was charged with "interpreting" a black police officer.

A child, molester, and priest walk into a bar.

He orders a drink.

Why was Six afraid of Seven?

Because 7 was accused of the murder of 26 children.