Crime jokes
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a pimple? You never see a pimple come on a little boy’s face.
What kind of shoes does a kidnapper wear?
White vans.
What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.
"Why did the band teacher get arrested?"
"For fingering a minor." Ahaha, so funny!
What does a cop say when you shoot a ginger?
I guess orange is the new black.
Where do rape victims buy their clothes from?
The kids section.
When is a rapist safe around children?
When his plans are oven ready.
I found a chest of gold in my garden the other day. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it.
Then I remembered why I was digging in my garden.
I just got a job at the prison library.
It has its prose and cons.
What do ICE and Mexican drug cartels both have in common?
They both kidnap Canadian women!
Somebody called the cops for a school shooting, what a snitch!
What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?
Sexy kids.
What's a rapist's favorite scale?
C Minor.
Oh, sh**! I'm late for my interview! Do you know where the nearest sex offender registry is?
EatDatPussy445, aka Deyione Scott-Wilson Eason, aka Bryant Turman Emerson Moreland, is a pedophile, and he is in Las Vegas right now. Go, go, go, catch him!
Why did the homeless man stop to help the kids cross the street?
To get them into his van.
What's black and white and red all over?
A police brutality case.
One day, someone goes out into the forest to go hunting, and finds out there are a few others in the forest. He comes back the next day to learn he is the only person there.
Where are the others?
They're in his freezer.
Hardest part about being a paedophile?
Fitting in.
What did the hooker say when she found out the cash she was paid with for services rendered was counterfeit?
I've been raped!