Crime jokes
"You are under arrest for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia!"
"Wait! I can explain everything!"
A man was reported stealing a bar of soap from a corner store. The police concluded that he made a clean getaway.
90,900,00,1090,279402% of girls are raped. 67% of women are raped. So I guess girls are sexier than women! Who agrees? Please comment: Good or Bad.
Why did the sexy 12 year old girl with cerebral palsy get raped? Because her parents didn’t have the decency to drown her at birth.
What do you call an Asian that steals cars? Tommy toke a motor.
Johnny, Johnny?
Yes, Papa?
Sniffing cocaine?
YES SIRRR!
What's the best thing about a prostitute dying on you during sex?
The second hour is free.
What are the similarities between a pedophile and a 9/11 plane?
They both came from behind and crushed them.
One night I was sitting on my bed in my room, minding my own business. It was pretty late, around 10 PM. The glow of my laptop screen was the only light in the room. I heard a noise coming from behind me. It sounded like the door was opening, but there was no one else in the house.
I turned around and found Mr. Incredible standing in my doorway, a stern look on his face. He walked over to me, slowly and dramatically. Then he leaned over and pointed his finger at my face, only about two inches away now. I was frozen with my back against the wall. Then, Mr. Incredible said something I would never forget: "Stop pirating video games."
Ever since that day, I have never gone on a pirating website and have paid legally for my video games. True story.
Being raped is like a dance; sometimes it hurts, sometimes it hurts more.
Why did the orphan go to rob the bank? Because he wanted to be wanted! >:D
The school shooter when the cops show up be like:
"Ain't nothing gonna break my stride, ain't nothing gonna hold me down. Oh oh. I've got to keep on moving."
What did Stevie Wonder see when he got murdered?
Nothing.
How do you know you’ve been robbed by an Asian? The house is clean, the homework is done, but the idiot is having trouble backing out of the driveway.
What's the difference between my basement and my garage?
One has a pile of babies' bodies; the other has their heads.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
Why do rappers make terrible pirates?
Because they’re always DROPPING HOOKS!
What was a pedophile's hardest thing? Fitting in!
Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was assaulted.
What do the Twin Towers and murder victims have in common?
Both were owned by their own kind.