Kobe would still be alive if he would have gone to jail for raping that girl.
joe: Are your mom and dad nice?
zozo: Well, they were until I murdered them over a bottle of Pringles.
joe: Oh, so you are an orphan and a murderer.
Do you know why pedos get away with molesting orphans? Who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.
There was a boy named Sammy, and he was deeply in love with a girl named Rayne. But she didn’t notice him or talk to him. But one day, she did, and they end up liking each other and getting married and lived happil- wait no, that’s not right. Sammy snuck in Rayne’s house at night and kidnapped her, locked her in his basement, and turned her into a puppet so she'd be with him forever and ever. The End.
There was an illegal alien woman who wanted to be called "undocumented." So, I had "undocumented" sex with her and threatened to have her deported if she reported me for rape. I'd call it even.
Things you never want to do in jail:
- Never piss off an inmate. - Don’t start fights with the cops. - Don’t drop the soap. - Don’t run away from the cops.
If I were alone on an island with Camilla Cabello, and we were never going to escape, I'd rape her. I mean, what is she going to do? Tell someone?
Why do so many people get charged with rape? Because they are too stupid to finish her off and bury the body.
What did Trump say to Epstein? "I like my tea like I like my teens: warm, sweet, and freshly made."
As a murderer, I stabbed a man after infiltrating his house. His wife came in and saw me. She fell into tears. I got up and said, "Drama queen!"
Why did the orphan commit crimes? To know what it's like to be wanted.
Q: Why did the cat get arrested?
A: He was caught littering.
A policeman walks up to a van with two priests and says, "We're looking for two child molesters."
The priests both look at each other for a moment and then say, "Okay, we'll do it."
What does Johnny Depp hate about driving a car?
He can't drink and drive.
James Last, the king of the LP bargain bin, died a Florida Man.
What is the difference between the government and organized crime?
Only one of them is organized.
Why is prostitution illegal?
Because when it comes to screwing people and taking their money, the government doesn't want anyone outperforming them.
A child and a child molester walk into a forest together. The child turns to the molester and says, "Boy, these woods are scary." The molester says to the child, "You think you're scared? I have to walk out of here alone."
What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"
