Crime jokes
What is the world's greatest invention? The ball gag, do you know why? Honestly, officer, I never heard her say no.
What's the difference between sex and rape? Some effective drugs.
What do you call a dead woman in the back of your car?
Idk, I just have a couple in the backseat.
Why did Michael Jackson go to jail? He was feeling a little Randy.
A woman has been raped by a man. She calls the police, and a policeman shows up.
Woman: "Please help, officer! I have been raped!"
Officer: "No problem, ma'am, I will just unrape you."
Woman: "What? Unrape me? How?"
Officer proceeds to bring back the rapist and forces the woman to rape the rapist back in order to cancel out the initial rape.
Memes
Q: How many dead hookers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Not three. My damn basement is still dark...
There was an illegal alien woman who wanted to be called "undocumented." So, I had "undocumented" sex with her and threatened to have her deported if she reported me for rape. I'd call it even.
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite thing about Halloween?
A: Free delivery.
Why did the rapist go after the mute? It would be a silent attack.
What has two butts and kills people?
An assassin.
What’s the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to.
Unless you are in prison.
Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.
I do consider Johnny Depp to be a victim of domestic violence.
Just like how I consider a children's hospital run by Michael Jackson and a retirement home run by Harold Shipman to be both safe places to be in.
If you see a woman get raped, don't bother helping. After all, they are independent and need no man.
Cheer on the rapist if you want.
I like my women how I like my wine: 12 years old and locked in a cellar.
what do you call a drunken sailer?
arrested.
Why do pedophiles go to a nursery?
Early access.
What do you call being run over by Michael Jackson?
Being hit by... Being struck by... A smooth criminal.
What's the difference between what Bill Cosby did and what OJ Simpson did? OJ Simpson's victims actually suffered and I actually feel bad for them (the boyfriend at least).