Crime jokes
Why are orphans good at being a criminal?
Because they're not wanted.
What is the difference between a terrorist and a prostitute?
The prostitute can blow you more than once.
How do you fit 100 rape victims inside a Mini Cooper?
In the ashtray.
What does Michael Jackson and Jeffery Dahmer have in common?
They both enjoy kids' company.
What did one detective say to the other detective?
"Disguise is lookin' suspicious."
A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”
Why did Michael Jackson love melted chocolate? Because he could pour it on his cock, then get a prepubescent boy to suck it off.
My last relationship ended because my ex-girlfriend accused me of being a rapist. I'm not upset. To be honest, I didn't like her anyway. She kept telling me I never listen, or something like that.
What's the difference between Axne and a priest??
One waits till you're 13 to come on your face.
What did the rape victim give to her rapist?
Head.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knife." "Knife, who?" "How are you still alive? I just stabbed you!"
How do you make an 8 year old girl cry twice?
Wipe your bloody cock off on her favorite teddy bear.
Q: How do you know it's time for bed at the Neverland Ranch? A: When the big hand touches the little hand.
Why is the white man in prison scarier than the black one?
The white one actually did it!
What’s the name of OceanGate’s next submarine?
Judging by the breathing conditions on their subs, I bet they’ll call it the "George Floyd."
Good news, people! Michael Jackson is still alive. They found him hidden away in a goat pen with all the kids!
What touches kids and is made out of plastic?
Michael Jackson, hee hee!
Robber: This is a robbery, bitch!
Gunsalesman: No u
My girlfriend said I was a ped0phi1e.
That's a big word for a 6 year old!
"Hey, man, do you have any Ben and Jerry's?"
"Yeah, I have two of them, fresh and preserved in the freezer."
"I meant the ice cream, bro..."