Q: What's a pedophile's favorite thing about Halloween?
A: Free delivery.
Crime Jokes
Why did the rapist go after the mute? It would be a silent attack.
What has two butts and kills people?
An assassin.
When you're a terrorist and you have a stutter.
A a a a a a a a ala ala ala ala ala alaog alaogbar.
What’s the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to.
Unless you are in prison.
Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.
I do consider Johnny Depp to be a victim of domestic violence.
Just like how I consider a children's hospital run by Michael Jackson and a retirement home run by Harold Shipman to be both safe places to be in.
If you see a woman get raped, don't bother helping. After all, they are independent and need no man.
Cheer on the rapist if you want.
A woman has been raped by a man. She calls the police, and a policeman shows up.
Woman: "Please help, officer! I have been raped!"
Officer: "No problem, ma'am, I will just unrape you."
Woman: "What? Unrape me? How?"
Officer proceeds to bring back the rapist and forces the woman to rape the rapist back in order to cancel out the initial rape.
I like my women how I like my wine: 12 years old and locked in a cellar.
what do you call a drunken sailer?
arrested.
Why do pedophiles go to a nursery?
Early access.
Kobe would still be alive if he would have gone to jail for raping that girl.
Do you know why pedos get away with molesting orphans? Who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.
joe: Are your mom and dad nice?
zozo: Well, they were until I murdered them over a bottle of Pringles.
joe: Oh, so you are an orphan and a murderer.
There was a boy named Sammy, and he was deeply in love with a girl named Rayne. But she didn’t notice him or talk to him. But one day, she did, and they end up liking each other and getting married and lived happil- wait no, that’s not right. Sammy snuck in Rayne’s house at night and kidnapped her, locked her in his basement, and turned her into a puppet so she'd be with him forever and ever. The End.
There was an illegal alien woman who wanted to be called "undocumented." So, I had "undocumented" sex with her and threatened to have her deported if she reported me for rape. I'd call it even.
Things you never want to do in jail:
- Never piss off an inmate. - Don’t start fights with the cops. - Don’t drop the soap. - Don’t run away from the cops.
Why do so many people get charged with rape? Because they are too stupid to finish her off and bury the body.
