Crime jokes
Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.
I saw a guy raping a girl in the park, so I decided to help. She didn't stand a chance against the two of us.
What’s a peedophile’s favorite shoes? White vans.
What do you call a school shooting survivor who grows up to be a prostitute on the West Coast?
A Sandy Hooker
Why is Hitler a better person than Jeffrey Epstein?
At least Hitler killed himself.
What does an orphan call a kidnapping?
A surprise adoption.
Do you know what's in common between a hitman and a photographer?
They all shoot people for a living.
What is the difference between the government and organized crime?
Only one of them is organized.
A policeman walks up to a van with two priests and says, "We're looking for two child molesters."
The priests both look at each other for a moment and then say, "Okay, we'll do it."
I have a question: Does aging affect corpses, too?
Just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!
Did you know that a majority of the U.S. is afraid of the dark?
Especially if they are right behind you at the ATM.
Q: What did Chris Brown say when he first saw Rhianna?
A: I'd hit that.
What do you call a party planned by Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?
A high school pill party.
What do you get when you cross Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?
Predator 2.
If abortion is murder, is jerking off genocide?
What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature.
Q: Do you know why orphans rob banks?
A: Because it's a guarantee they'll be wanted afterwards.
What is the difference between Catholics and Lutherans?
Catholics are registered sex offenders.
What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?
One goes limp when a child walks in the room.
"911, what’s your emergency?" I asked, listening to the quiet sobs of a little kid on the other end of the line.
“I think my daddy want to kill me,” the girl said and cried, making me freeze on the spot as I recognized my daughter’s voice.