Crime jokes
If abortion is murder, is jerking off genocide?
When I was very young...
My classmates played a game called kiss chase. Some were really good at catching the girls and then kissing them.
They are rapists now.
What's the difference between my girlfriend and my uncle?
My girlfriend didn't go to jail for loving me.
It's a little known fact that Helen Keller was against teaching deaf people sign language and thought they should be forced to use oral language.
Weird.
Last time I forced somebody into oral, I got arrested.
Jeffrey Dahmer was craving 5 Guys before it was a restaurant.
I'll pat your breasts, pat your breasts, cos I'm a baker's man, and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I'll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", And then throw you in the fire cos you're now worthless to me!
My dad has the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
I would rather be drugged and robbed by Cardi B than listen to her f***ing music.
Did you hear about the pervert who couldn't decide whether he was into incest or necrophilia?
He killed his mom and then fucked her.
I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun. Now it’s an assault rifle.
What does a sex offender that is a lesbian have in common with a sex offender that is a feminist?
They only performed cunnilingus on girls under 18 years old.
I killed a man, but it was April Fools'!
Did you hear about the terrorist comedian?
He was actually quite funny...
He just blew the delivery.
(I'll show myself out).
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
Plz look up rainbow kiss - Bill Cosby.
Why did Michael Jackson go to the movies? He saw there was minor nudity.
Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"
If Adolf starred in the Room, his most iconic line would be “I did not Hitler! I did not!”
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knife." "Knife, who?" "How are you still alive? I just stabbed you!"
Where do rape victims buy their clothes from?
The kids section.