Crime jokes
These murder jokes are just KILLING me!
Why did Susie get cut from the soccer team? She has no legs!
Who broke into my house by kicking down my door? Not Susie... But she still is in my basement, since she can't run!
Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.
There is one rapist among us.
I saw a guy raping a girl in the park, so I decided to help. She didn't stand a chance against the two of us.
Memes
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite place to eat?
A: Schools because there is a wide variety of choices.
What’s a peedophile’s favorite shoes? White vans.
What do you call a school shooting survivor who grows up to be a prostitute on the West Coast?
A Sandy Hooker
A limbless criminal has just been identified. Police say the suspect is armed and on the run.
Q: Do you know why orphans rob banks?
A: Because it's a guarantee they'll be wanted afterwards.
What is the difference between Catholics and Lutherans?
Catholics are registered sex offenders.
A police officer pulls over two Catholic priests. He says he's looking for two child molesters.
The Catholic priests look at each other: "We'll do it!"
If abortion is murder, is jerking off genocide?
What do you get when you cross Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?
Predator 2.
Q: How are Clocks like Pedophiles? A: They both stop at 12.
I lost my driver's license today. I hit my ex with my car.
I was reading the news and read that a kid killed his family, and when they interviewed him, he said he wanted to become Batman.
Q. What's a bulimic's favorite movie?
A. The Purge.
The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
Whoever stole my Microsoft Office account, I'll make you pay. You have my word!