What do you get when you cross Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?
Predator 2.
I lost my driver's license today. I hit my ex with my car.
I was reading the news and read that a kid killed his family, and when they interviewed him, he said he wanted to become Batman.
Joker gives Batman a phone.
Thomas: "Uhh, son, we need to talk... about the uhh, dressing up."
Martha: "Hello dearie, Brucie, is it ok if you visit me when you go to Joker's house?"
What’s worse than George Bush doing 9/11? Jeffrey Epstein doing nine Elevens.
What do you call a serial killer that only kills fat people?
A mass murderer.
What is the difference between Catholics and Lutherans?
Catholics are registered sex offenders.
Q: How are Clocks like Pedophiles? A: They both stop at 12.
A police officer pulls over two Catholic priests. He says he's looking for two child molesters.
The Catholic priests look at each other: "We'll do it!"
Q: Do you know why orphans rob banks?
A: Because it's a guarantee they'll be wanted afterwards.
If abortion is murder, is jerking off genocide?
A limbless criminal has just been identified. Police say the suspect is armed and on the run.
The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
Are you a gun, because I would be your bullets because I love going in children.
Whoever stole my Microsoft Office account, I'll make you pay. You have my word!
Q. What's a bulimic's favorite movie?
A. The Purge.
James Last, the king of the LP bargain bin, died a Florida Man.
A tiny psychic escaped from jail, and the news said there a small medium at large.
What's a convict's favorite chore?
Weeding.
Jeff, did you hear they're making a film about Jimmy Savile? It’s a very touchy subject.
Yeah, I did, Gary, but did you hear the reviews on the Bill Cosby film? People said it was so boring it put them to sleep.
