Crime jokes
Q: How can you tell that a pedophile likes music?
A: He rapes D minor.
What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.
Child predators: "You're so six-y."
Two pedos are on the beach.
One pedo said, "Hey, get out of my son!"
OK, there are at least 3 pedophiles in your neighborhood.
But there are no pedophiles in my neighborhood; there are only three 10-year-old girls with juicy asses.
A straight man and a gay man are talking. The straight man says, "I'm wanted in 2 states for murder." and the gay man replies with, "Oh, that sucks. I'm wanted in 13 for existing."
What do you call a pansexual pedophile? Jesus.
Today, I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. The police thought it was suicide since I have no fingerprints. Wow, I’m so nice taking care of the disabled.
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I have been tripping all day!
When I'm bored, I text a random number, "I hid the body... now what?"
If you see a woman get raped, don't bother helping. They're independent women, after all. Heck, cheer on the rapist, or join in the fun.
What did the pedophile say when he got out of prison? I feel like a kid again.
You do 1 line, you're not a crackhead. You drink 1 beer, you're not an alcoholic. But I murder 1 person...
Why can’t pedophiles ever win races? Because they are always coming in a little behind.
I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium and you’re being a respectful friend.
But do it at home and you’re destroying evidence.
Why do orphans play GTA?
So they can feel wanted.
Why did Tyrone drop his ice cream cone?
A: He got shot.
Sign on my attorney's office wall: "You can't have manslaughter without laughter."
Rape is not a joke.
What do you call a swimming terrorist?
A bath bomb.