Crime jokes
R. Kelly contracted COVID-19 recently. He was quoted as saying it was the first time he caught a case of anything over 18 in years.
Not everyone is perfect. Just take Charles Manson, for example.
There's nothing I like more than seeing a politician in a nice suit.
An orange jumpsuit that is :)
What similarities do peeping Toms and spies share?
They both see things they shouldn't.
According to Christianity, Jesus is the son of a GODFATHER.
Who makes more money, a drug dealer or a prostitute?
A prostitute, because she can always wash her crack and sell it again.
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because at least they can be wanted!
Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldn’t win all day, but when it got dark, I managed to beat her. I don’t know how the police found out so quickly.
On my signal, I would like you to drive onto the pavement (sidewalk) and run over my ex-wife.
Win a free ride in a police car! Just pick up a knife and use it!
What's orphans favorite game to play?
GTA5 because they want to be wanted!
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because they want to be wanted.
My builder was extending my basement when he questioned me because he found three dead kids in a corner tied together.
Yesterday I had a party.
I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.
I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!
Yesterday I had a party in my basement.
I got questioned a lot about 5 dead kids in the corner shut in a box. I did that when I was 13, damn I forgot about them!
My brother went missing 5 years ago. He also supported TRUMP. He is currently dead in my basement in a chest in a cupboard.
One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.
What would you name a detective if he didn't already have a name?
Cassie.
Get it?
I went to the table to eat my egg, but I couldn't find it anywhere.
I think someone must've poached it.
When you go to the priest's basement, you will always find the pope's body and his children in the corner of the room.