Crime jokes
Why did the bounty hunter not cash in an orphan?
He was not worth keeping.
What type of tape do kidnappers use?
Abduct-Tape.
Among Us players after saying "Self Report!" to the police officers who find a dead body in their basement.
Why is Kyle Rittenhouse the Ultimate Crime Fighter?
Because in one night he killed a pedophile and a domestic abuser.
You call it a school shooting.
I call it an unfair shootout.
If Will Smith had a revolver and said, "Who fucked my wife?" Chris Rock would say, "You don't have enough bullets, mate."
I knew this one guy who liked to swim with the fishes, then the mob got a hold of 'em...
Roses are red, Epstein's face turned blue.
Trump's on that list, And there's nothing he can do.
Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy. You wouldn't believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.
She said she was cheating. I put anti-freeze in her drink.
What do you call a fat girl with a rape alarm?
Optimistic.
Murder: Wanna play a game?
Me: Ok (pulls out Xbox controller)
If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery... I’ll kill him with my bear hands.
Who's Joe?
Joe rapes.
This guy in a trench coat walks up to a kid, opens the trench coat and has glasses inside.
He says to the kid, “Hey kid, want some extra-see?”
My mum touched my friend, but she wasn’t the she’s only 12.
What's a pedophile's favorite fast food meal?
In-N-Out of kids.
Why is prostitution illegal?
Because when it comes to screwing people and taking their money, the government doesn't want anyone outperforming them.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer?
The prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.
What song did Michael Jackson come up with after his first sleepover with the kid?
"Just Beat It."