My gardener found a dead body. Of the old gardener!
Crime Jokes
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Jared from Subway touches the youth.
Why would you shoot up an innocent school... if your aimbot's dead and you can't commit headshots only?
One time, a man got mad at me because I was hitting on his girlfriend. Like come on, man, it was only a couple of bruises!
Roses are red, violets are blue, don't let your kids next to Prince Andrew.
What is one good thing about child molesters?
They drive slow past schools.
I was cussing out this kid for stealing, and their mom walked in and said, "Hey, language!" I just said, "English, bitch!"
Kid at Wish: I wish I could be Batman.
Doctor: Okay, shoots mum and dad. Doctor: I guess now you’ll have to be gay, you wanted to be like Batman.
What's the difference between a wanted person and a wanted handicapped person? The handicapped person wasn’t last seen on foot.
I've been looking for my parents for years.
For the life of me, I can't remember where I hid their bodies.
Why did the orphan rob a bank?
For he can be wanted.
"Terrorist, that’s a little strong. We call them private militaries."
Mommy, mommy! Are we bank robbers?
Shut up and pass me the note.
Why did the ducks go to jail?
They sold quack.
"Ahoy, Spongebob! I just committed homicide in Syria, and the one-party state is after my fucking ass! Argagagagagaga!"
Why was the belt arrested?
It held up a pair of pants.
What's the difference between when I opened the window in a car wash and when Kawhi Leonard did it? At least my dad didn't get shot in the eye.
What does a beaten woman do when she comes home from the hospital?
Dishes if she knows what's good for her health.
A cartoonist was found dead in his home.
The details are SKETCHY! :)
I like to commit arson as a recreational activity, you?
