Crime jokes
Today my ex got hit by a bus.
I also lost my job as a bus driver.
A 14 year old girl finds out she is pregnant. Her: "Crap! My mom is going to kill me!"
The fetus: "lol same here."
What’s the difference between a robber and an orphan?
One is wanted.
I got arrested because I cremated a guy. They said the guy had been alive when I burned him. I mean, it's an early cremation—what's the difference?
How do you get your appeal for rape charges accepted? Say you were expressing your desire for a woman, which is protected under the Constitution in freedom of expression.
Memes
tryna catch a body??
YouTubers: Among Us in real life.
Bin Laden: Angry Birds in real life.
Judge: We shall now sentence you for the murder of your parents.
Accused: Please consider a lenient sentence, your honor.
Judge: But why?
Accused: Because I’m an orphan.
A Souls fan raped me. He said, "Try finger, but hole."
What do Priests and School shooters have in common?
They both blast little kids in the face.
The sun is out, and the pedo vans are out.
Parents, keep your kids away from ice cream vans. Once they hear the sound, you'll never see your kids again!
VOTING SEMIFINAL 1
LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.
DISLIKE: When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”.
Vote for the better joke.
When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a disco party. 🕺🕺🕺
Please help, my dad is an addict. He won't stop, and he eats my food.
Sometimes I think, should I kill him? But nah, he will go down with the others who did that too.
Q: What’s a good thing about child molesters?
A: They drive slow through school zones.
Why did the little boy cry?
He had a frog nailed to his face and stapled to each of his fins. The frogs were his personal molesters.
I don’t like to tell school shooter jokes because they are usually aimed at a younger audience.
Joker: Knock knock...
Batman: Who's there?
Joker: Not your parents!
Dog walks into a bar and says, "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw."
I give props to pedophiles.
They always go slow in the school zones.
Gun control...