Crime jokes
There was an illegal alien woman who wanted to be called "undocumented." So, I had "undocumented" sex with her and threatened to have her deported if she reported me for rape. I'd call it even.
Dog walks into a bar and says, "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw."
What do you say to a pedophile at the beach?
Get out of my son!
"Don’t be dumb, make sure she’s numb."
- Bill Cosby
A woman once falsely accused me of rape, and I was sentenced to life in prison.
PLEASE CONSIDER LAUGHING now 😂
What is the difference between a rapist and a dictionary?
One of them knows the definition of no.
My wife wanted to make a joke about domestic abuse, but I beat her to it.
Three guys are walking in a bar. A priest, a paedophile, and a rapist. That was just the first guy.
Why did orphans want to commit a crime?
Because they wanted to see what it feels like to be wanted.
What does the orphan have in common with Batman? They both lost their parents.
Who's Joe?
Joe rapes.
How do you make a baby cry? You run over it with a lawn mower.
Pedophiles are just fucking, immature assholes.
NEWS: A man kidnapped a 13-year-old girl.
MOM OF GIRL: The man had a shady face and a receding hairline.
An action hero stops a man running by throwing a tire at him.
What is his one liner? "I told you to stop running or you will get tired."
There once was a boy named Sammy who loved this girl beyond belief. Her name was Rayne, but she didn’t notice him and or talk to him, but one day she did, and the ended up liking each other and getting married and living happil- wait no, that’s not right. Sammy actually snuck in Rayne's house one day and kidnapped her and locked her in his basement and made her into a puppet so he could keep her forever and ever. The End.
Why does JD Vance not need a conviction?
His running mate has 34 of them!
What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedo have in common?
Are you ready, kids?🤣
Pokemon: What do you call a killer that uses psycho powers?
Mr. Mime!
A black dude hits up a trap house for some crack and Hennessy, flashing his grill and boasting 'bout his gangsta life. The dealer snarls, "Pay up, fool. Or face the pipe!" He shrugs, "I'm broke, n***a." Suddenly, the dealer's ripped enforcer yanks him down, cuffs his hands with zip ties, shoves a vibrating dildo gag down his throat, slaps his ass red with a spiked paddle, then rams his throbbing monster cock into that tight hole, pounding savagely while choking him with a chain collar, flooding his guts with hot cum as he moans, "That's your high, bitch. Addicted yet?"