Crime jokes
I once asked a sketchy man at a bar for some relationship advice. He simply replied, "They're all dead hookers once they're in the trunk."
What’s the only victimless crime you can commit? Murder, cause there’s a victim less!
If you see a woman get raped, just walk away. Don't bother helping. They're independent women, after all.
Here is a dark joke for you guys... "Why do pornstars scream, "DADDY!" in their videos? Because they were child molested by their father!"
Among Us players after saying "Self Report!" to the police officers who find a dead body in their basement.
When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range, but you don’t give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...
My name is Dan, I wear white Vans, I have a gun, get in the van!
Why did Michael Jackson go to the movies? He saw there was minor nudity.
What is George Floyd's pickup line?
You are breathtaking.
What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?
When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.
I kidnapped an orphan. What are they going to do? Cry for mom?
My stepmom kicked me out of the house because I was raped and got pregnant. I kicked her to death because she had sex and gave birth to my rapist stepbrother.
For pedophiles, watching teen porn must be like watching mature porn.
What’s the worst thing about being a pedophile?
Fitting it in.
Today I ate out my girlfriend... Jeffrey Dahmer style.
What does a serial killer make for breakfast?
Scrambled legs and toes.
A man walks over to a little boy and asks, "Wanna see my tattoo of a bunny?"
The little boy replies with, "Yes please, I love bunnies!"
The man proceeds to pull his pants down and said, "Can you see it yet?"
The little boy curious says, "No, where is it?"
The man says, "Dig a little deeper, he runs into the hole when he gets scared!"
Me and my friends were having a party the other day when some bitch came bitching about the noise. Thankfully, she was hot and had a nice ass, so it was enjoyable raping her.
The next day when I woke up, I found her body only half eaten. Her lower body was still intact, so I went for seconds to fuck off the hangover. Then I had breakfast. Her ass tasted good with some ketchup.
What did Elon Musk do after sacking half of Twitter employees?
Raped an eight-year-old girl.
What's the difference between a pile of dead bodies and a computer?
I don't know, I have both!