Crime jokes
When I was in middle school, I was kidnapped by a terrorist organization.
Al-gebra.
What’s the name of OceanGate’s next submarine?
Judging by the breathing conditions on their subs, I bet they’ll call it the "George Floyd."
Today I went to the doctor for a test, and he said I have 10 months to live.
So later that day I stabbed him to death, and the judge sentenced me for 15 years in prison. Problem solved!
How did the man with a small penis become a rapist? His condom fell off.
Why was the Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it wanted to look up a 10 year old girl’s skirt.
Memes
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair? A RC-XD.
Mother got shot, damn.
Father got shot, damn.
Sister got shot, damn.
Brother got shot, damn.
Auntie running away with a shotgun!
Q: What happens to KID who NAPs near a stranger?
A: He gets KID-NAPPED (kidnapped).
Today my ex got hit by a bus.
I also lost my job as a bus driver.
A 14 year old girl finds out she is pregnant. Her: "Crap! My mom is going to kill me!"
The fetus: "lol same here."
What’s the difference between a robber and an orphan?
One is wanted.
I got arrested because I cremated a guy. They said the guy had been alive when I burned him. I mean, it's an early cremation—what's the difference?
How do you get your appeal for rape charges accepted? Say you were expressing your desire for a woman, which is protected under the Constitution in freedom of expression.
YouTubers: Among Us in real life.
Bin Laden: Angry Birds in real life.
Judge: We shall now sentence you for the murder of your parents.
Accused: Please consider a lenient sentence, your honor.
Judge: But why?
Accused: Because I’m an orphan.
When I was a little boy, I had this dream. I was eating a giant marshmallow.
When I woke, I was being sexually abused.
A Souls fan raped me. He said, "Try finger, but hole."
What do Priests and School shooters have in common?
They both blast little kids in the face.
The sun is out, and the pedo vans are out.
Parents, keep your kids away from ice cream vans. Once they hear the sound, you'll never see your kids again!
VOTING SEMIFINAL 1
LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.
DISLIKE: When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”.
Vote for the better joke.