Crime jokes
Among Us players after saying "Self Report!" to the police officers who find a dead body in their basement.
Why did Michael Jackson go to the movies? He saw there was minor nudity.
My name is Dan, I wear white Vans, I have a gun, get in the van!
What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?
When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.
I kidnapped an orphan. What are they going to do? Cry for mom?
When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range, but you don’t give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...
What is George Floyd's pickup line?
You are breathtaking.
My stepmom kicked me out of the house because I was raped and got pregnant. I kicked her to death because she had sex and gave birth to my rapist stepbrother.
For pedophiles, watching teen porn must be like watching mature porn.
What’s the worst thing about being a pedophile?
Fitting it in.
Today I ate out my girlfriend... Jeffrey Dahmer style.
What does a serial killer make for breakfast?
Scrambled legs and toes.
A man walks over to a little boy and asks, "Wanna see my tattoo of a bunny?"
The little boy replies with, "Yes please, I love bunnies!"
The man proceeds to pull his pants down and said, "Can you see it yet?"
The little boy curious says, "No, where is it?"
The man says, "Dig a little deeper, he runs into the hole when he gets scared!"
Me and my friends were having a party the other day when some bitch came bitching about the noise. Thankfully, she was hot and had a nice ass, so it was enjoyable raping her.
The next day when I woke up, I found her body only half eaten. Her lower body was still intact, so I went for seconds to fuck off the hangover. Then I had breakfast. Her ass tasted good with some ketchup.
What did Elon Musk do after sacking half of Twitter employees?
Raped an eight-year-old girl.
What's the difference between a pile of dead bodies and a computer?
I don't know, I have both!
When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.
Why do more men than women support abortion? So they can keep raping women and the victims will just abort their kids to not have to relive the experience!
What do you do after raping a deaf mute eight-year-old girl? Smash the little bitch's hands with a hammer so she can't tell her mum.
What did Stevie Wonder see when he got murdered?
Nothing.