Crime jokes

When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range, but you don’t give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...

My stepmom kicked me out of the house because I was raped and got pregnant. I kicked her to death because she had sex and gave birth to my rapist stepbrother.

For pedophiles, watching teen porn must be like watching mature porn.

What’s the worst thing about being a pedophile?

Fitting it in.

Today I ate out my girlfriend... Jeffrey Dahmer style.

What does a serial killer make for breakfast?

Scrambled legs and toes.

Statistically, 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile. But not me, I live next to a 10-year-old boy with a fat ass.

A man walks over to a little boy and asks, "Wanna see my tattoo of a bunny?"

The little boy replies with, "Yes please, I love bunnies!"

The man proceeds to pull his pants down and said, "Can you see it yet?"

The little boy curious says, "No, where is it?"

The man says, "Dig a little deeper, he runs into the hole when he gets scared!"

Me and my friends were having a party the other day when some bitch came bitching about the noise. Thankfully, she was hot and had a nice ass, so it was enjoyable raping her.

The next day when I woke up, I found her body only half eaten. Her lower body was still intact, so I went for seconds to fuck off the hangover. Then I had breakfast. Her ass tasted good with some ketchup.

What did Elon Musk do after sacking half of Twitter employees?

Raped an eight-year-old girl.

What's the difference between a pile of dead bodies and a computer?

I don't know, I have both!

Why do more men than women support abortion? So they can keep raping women and the victims will just abort their kids to not have to relive the experience!

What do you do after raping a deaf mute eight-year-old girl? Smash the little bitch's hands with a hammer so she can't tell her mum.

What’s the best part of raping an 11 year old girl?

Getting to kill the little bitch after you’ve finished with her.

What did Stevie Wonder see when he got murdered?

Nothing.

A 14 year old girl finds out she is pregnant. Her: "Crap! My mom is going to kill me!"

The fetus: "lol same here."

Today my ex got hit by a bus.

I also lost my job as a bus driver.

What’s the difference between a robber and an orphan?

One is wanted.

What do Priests and School shooters have in common?

They both blast little kids in the face.

How do you get your appeal for rape charges accepted? Say you were expressing your desire for a woman, which is protected under the Constitution in freedom of expression.