Crime jokes
What do you call an Asian that steals cars? Tommy toke a motor.
What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you?
“C'mon, did ya really think I’d resist arrest?”
How does a peadophile help a kid with maths? He adds the bed, divides the clothes, and multiplies with the whole classroom.
What's a pedophile's favorite cooking ingredient?...... Fresh meat.
What did the cop say to the muslim breaking the law?
"That's against th-Allah (read like da-law)."
My dad came over late at night. He was drunk. He started telling me how useless I was. Then I went to the kitchen, grabbed a knife, and stabbed him in the chest 47 times.
Three minutes later, he died. Now I’m losing my mind and cutting myself.
I took 7 coins from someone. He even came back from the dead to get them.
joe: Are your mom and dad nice?
zozo: Well, they were until I murdered them over a bottle of Pringles.
joe: Oh, so you are an orphan and a murderer.
If you're mad, hire an orphan, what are they gonna do, tell their parents? 🤣🤣
Orphan: I want to be like Batman.
Orphan worker: You are already like him, honey.
Billy moved in with 69 pedophiles when he was 8. Many "tears" came across his cheeks.
When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range, but you don’t give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...
How do pedophiles follow the law?
They drive it slow in the school zone.
Michael Vick is coming to town, hide your dogs!
Plz look up rainbow kiss - Bill Cosby.
I like my women like I like my wine: 12 years old, in the basement, and locked up.
Why did the credit card go to jail?
'Cuz it was guilty as charged!
There's a new cooking programme on BBC1. The contestants are victims of domestic violence. It's called "Can't Cook... Right Hook."
What kind of star would go to jail?
A shooting star!
Why did Tyrone drop his ice cream cone?
A: He got shot.