Crime jokes
Jeffery Dahmer has two things: an RV and a pit.
What is different about the two is that one can't move and one has gas.
But what is similar is tha-
Wait, what is Jeffery doing? He has a knife, he is pulling men's pants down, he is...OH SHIT WHAT THE F-!
Sorry 'bout that......
Now, as I was saying,
What is similar about the two is that one has and is a cockpit.
Wait, a cockpit- JEFFERY WHAT THE F-!
Jefferey Dahmer asked his husband a question.
His husband said, "What's your question?"
Jefferey Dahmer said, "You want to know what is my favorite type of tree?"
His husband said "Yes?"
Jefferey said, "Morning Wood, now take off your pants!"
How many rapists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Punchline: One, but they prefer soda bottles instead.
What does a serial killer make for breakfast?
Scrambled legs and toes.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
More than five because my basement is still dark.
It’s been a terrible day today. My ex got hit by a bus and died.
Not only this, but the council cut my bus driver's permit!
Here is a dark joke for you guys... "Why do pornstars scream, "DADDY!" in their videos? Because they were child molested by their father!"
My teacher is a rapist.
Why did the orphan call Mr. Smith "daddy"? Because he put her in the vices and taught her a lesson about virginity.
What's the difference between Axne and a priest??
One waits till you're 13 to come on your face.
Two guys are captured by native Chinese. They give them two choices: 1. Death. 2. 他妈的
The first guy: What's 他妈的?
The Chinese: Fucking.
The first guy chooses death.
Second guy to himself: Well, I'll let these sick fucks fuck me. At least I'll be alive...
The Chinese: Come on, we don't have all day.
Second guy: I choose 他妈的.
The Chinese: Ok, 他妈的 to the death!
Someone broke into my house and took my anti-depressants... I hope they're happy now.
Joker: Knock knock...
Batman: Who's there?
Joker: Not your parents!
What type of tape do kidnappers use?
Abduct-Tape.
Why did Rolf Harris meet underage kids?
To tie his kangaroo down, sport!
What does a priest and time have in common? They're both predators.
"He scratched his face up, detective. That did it."
"Did I do that?"
So, if being a paedophile is a career, then burying the bodies must be gardening.
I don’t like to tell school shooter jokes because they are usually aimed at a younger audience.
The only time rape jokes are funny is never.