Crime jokes
So, if being a paedophile is a career, then burying the bodies must be gardening.
I don’t like to tell school shooter jokes because they are usually aimed at a younger audience.
The only time rape jokes are funny is never.
What's the difference between a pizza and a guy you really hate?
One won't scream when you remove their meat.
What do you call a child predator and an illegal immigrant? Alien vs. Predator.
What's the difference between a mole and a priest?
One will till your 13 to put hairs on your face.
Me: punching a kid.
My FBI agent: You're adopted.
I raped your mom. I flipped her upside down and called the position "wow."
I went to the table to eat my egg, but I couldn't find it anywhere.
I think someone must've poached it.
Cops go to the hood when the shooting range is closed.
How many police officers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just beat the room for it being black.
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Fuck 'em.
What’s the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
What 3 words started Jeffery Dahmer's cannibalism?
"This isn't ketchup."
What 3 words started Jeffery Dahmer's cannibalism?
This isn't ketchup.
What did Stevie Wonder see when he got murdered?
Nothing.
You are walking through the woods when you cross a woman who has been raped and beheaded. What is the first thing you do?
Check your map, you’re obviously going in circles.
What's the difference between my basement and my garage?
One has a pile of babies' bodies; the other has their heads.
I don't understand why people hide under their blankets. It's not like the killer's gonna be like, "I'm gonna kill-....ahh man he's under his blanket."
What do Catholic priests and school shooters have in common?
They both like to dump their loads into little kids.