Crime jokes
A disabled kid kept throwing up in class.
So I threw him out the window!
Why do rappers make terrible pirates?
Because they’re always DROPPING HOOKS!
A pedophile and a priest run a race.
You can’t beat yourself in a race!
What did one slave owner say to the other slave owner when he couldn’t find his slave?
Don’t worry, I’ll rope him in.
Diddy and Hawk Tuah walk into a bar. Hawk Tuah says, "Spit on that thang!" Only one walks out. 💀
The woman was thinking she wanted to have sex, but one second later, she did it on the street with a criminal.
What did the man say in the morning after beating up his wife?
"I woke up Chris Breezy."
Cop: "I'm arresting you for downloading the entire Wikipedia."
Man: "Wait! I can explain everything!"
If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery... I’ll kill him with my bear hands.
What is a pedophile's favorite age range?
9-11.
What’s faster than a black guy with the TV?
His little brother with the console.
I guess making 9/11 jokes at the airport is better than shouting "He's got a gun!" at the airport.
What has eight legs and doesn’t rape children?
The Jackson 4.
Why did the terrorist masturbate and smoke weed on the plane?
He was told to high-jack it.
What did Chris Brown say the first time he saw Rihanna?
I’d hit that.
Yesterday during the storm, there was a blackout, so I shot him.
Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for stealing luggage? Unfortunately, he lost his case.
Why does JD Vance not need a conviction?
His running mate has 34 of them!
Yesterday, there was a blackout on my street.
So I sold them.
What do you do to a deaf girl after you’re done fucking her?
Break her fingers so she can’t tell anyone.