Country jokes

In 1941, Hans, a young German boy, was listening to the radio.

Over the radio, Hitler announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.

"Father, where is the United States?" Hans asked.

His father pointed at a map of North America.

"Aren’t we currently at war with Russia? Where might that be?" he questioned his father.

The man pointed towards the Soviet Union.

"And I’m told we’re also at war with the British Empire. Where is that?"

The father pointed out all of the territories owned by the British.

"Where is Germany again, Father?"

He pointed to their home country in Central Europe.

Hans pondered this information for a second. "One last question, Father."

"Yes?"

"Has Hitler seen this map?"

What's the difference between America and a flash drive?

One is USA and the other is USB! 😂😂😂

There are 3 men: an American, a French, and an Italian who have to take a trip and take the plane.

The American puts his hand out the window and says: "We are in America, I touched the Statue of Liberty." The French says: "We are in France, I touched the Eiffel Tower." The Italian says: "We are in Italy, I touched the garbage!"

Did you know all Canadians have the same blood type?

They all have blood "eh."

What do you call intelligent people in the U.S.?

Tourists.

Kenya believe it?

Loud Korea noise.

What war game can the French win? None, they are always losing.

Canada United States Mexico

C U M

I've Benin there.

I'm Ghana go.

I've got to Togo.

Why don't gay men perform anilingus on each other in Greece?

Because anilingus is against the law in Greece.

Where do cows go on a holiday? Moo-Zealand! 😜

Why are the best used guns from France?

Because they have never been fired and they have only been dropped once.

What's white, red, blue, and brown all over?

The American flag I used to wipe my ass with.

Ukraine.

The Americans.

What’s the difference between a Canadian and a unicorn?

Nothing, they’re both mythical creatures.

What do you call a swimmer from Iraq?

A bath bomb.

Jeff crosses the US border.

The second he crosses into the USA, a guy comes up with a gun.

Jeff: "That's what I was expecting."

I couldn't think of anything because you're in the "countryside."