Country jokes
What do you call intelligent people in the U.S.?
Tourists.
Did you know all Canadians have the same blood type?
They all have blood "eh."
How tall does the grass grow in Germany?
Zis high!
Loud Korea noise.
Kenya believe it?
What war game can the French win? None, they are always losing.
Canada United States Mexico
C U M
I've Benin there.
I'm Ghana go.
I've got to Togo.
Why don't gay men perform anilingus on each other in Greece?
Because anilingus is against the law in Greece.
Why are the best used guns from France?
Because they have never been fired and they have only been dropped once.
Where do cows go on a holiday? Moo-Zealand! 😜
What's white, red, blue, and brown all over?
The American flag I used to wipe my ass with.
Ukraine.
The Americans.
What’s the difference between a Canadian and a unicorn?
Nothing, they’re both mythical creatures.
In 1941, Hans, a young German boy, was listening to the radio.
Over the radio, Hitler announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.
"Father, where is the United States?" Hans asked.
His father pointed at a map of North America.
"Aren’t we currently at war with Russia? Where might that be?" he questioned his father.
The man pointed towards the Soviet Union.
"And I’m told we’re also at war with the British Empire. Where is that?"
The father pointed out all of the territories owned by the British.
"Where is Germany again, Father?"
He pointed to their home country in Central Europe.
Hans pondered this information for a second. "One last question, Father."
"Yes?"
"Has Hitler seen this map?"
I couldn't think of anything because you're in the "countryside."
The UK is a joke. I want to leave ASAP.
Brazil is a joke.
The "w" in Africa stands for wealth.