I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% Graduation rate and he said "Your mom doesn't count as a college"
2 magicians were in a competition the first one did magic and the second started counting down 3 2 but before he said the last number he 1
Bob: What is the percent of people who are depressed. Me: If your only counting me. 100%
A hand job from a deaf person counts as oral.
A Spanish magician is trying the disappearing trick. He counts Uno Dos and leaves no trace.
Idk my friend did it
Gf:babe,do you love me Bf:count the stars and thats how much i love you\\ Gf:but its morning sweetie.... Bf:Exactly Gf: :0,Ill take that as a no
Astrophysics fact: If you count every stars on a Saturday night, you're autistic.
1.You can ́t wash you ́re eyes with soap 2.You can ́t count you ́re hair 3.You can ́t breathe through you nose with youre tongue out 4.You just tried number three 5.When u tried number 3 u realized it was possible only u look like a dog 6.Youre smileing right now because you relized you were fooloed 7.you skipped number 5 8.you just checked if there was a number 5 9.This is not my joke all credit goes to steps
3 men were captured by a tribe and tortured. The leader of the tribe tells them that they would live, only if they could achieve one thing. They had to go out and find 10 pieces of the same fruit each. The first person returned with apples, the leader said that he had to put all 10 of them up into his ass without making a sound, or he would be killed. 1....2 he screamed. The next person came back with grapes, 1,2,3, he counted up to 8, but began to burst out laughing, he was killed. In heaven, the first man asked him why he laughed if he was doing so well, "well i saw the third guy coming back with fucking pineapples"
Why did the rapper bring a calculator to the party?
To count his STACKS of CASH
I hope when you count you lose the number you were on
this is just a bad emo pickup line lmao
are you maria? cuz u can sure as hell count ME in
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
Someone who COUNTS BARS all day
Why was the rapper so good at math?
Because he could always COUNT his BARS
I Met Lebron James And He Was So Bald At The Time That I Could Count His Hairs.
And That's 1 Hair and Mabey 2
Yo mamas so fat when she went in the scale it said still counting
I think the pollen count is a difficult job. Especially if you have hayfever.
Yo mama so fat her weight is angry grandpa's subscriber count
Why did the rapper bring a calculator to the concert?
To COUNT his BARS
What did the boy say to his fingers? I'm counting on you.
