Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there's no multiplying.
I have OCD and ADD, so everything has to be perfect... but not for very long
Spanish is difficult when my mom gives me food she says toma and that's drink in English so I always drink my food
STOP MAKING AUTISM JOKES CALLING US “RETARDS”. IT IS COOL.
I have OCD and ADD, so everything had to be perfect... but not for long
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why could't the toilet paper cross the street
because it got stuck in a crack
I was going to make a pun about math, but my answers never add up
Joe Biden walks into the White House kitchen. "Are those brownies, I smell?", he asks. "Indeed, they are.", he was told. "Gee", he says, "they smell nothing like Girl Scouts."
Father awaits the birth of his first child. The obstetrician: "Unfortunately he has no arms". "I'll love it all the same". But the obstetrician adds: "It is also without legs, trunk, head". "I'll love it all the same". Then the obstetrician confessed to him: "I'm sorry, but only this ear was born". "I'll love it all the same". And the obstetrician: "Talk to him closer: he's deaf!".
cooper is funny
Kat what I did a cat jump over the road because he believes he came flying in the clouds Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah so funniest kitten kitten kitten kidding is my last time ofDo you Joooooooooooooooooooooookin
koalas !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! are asome yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
adding a 'gl' in front of camping doesn't make it any better. if you add a 'gl' infront of adolf hitler it doesn't make him a great guy
Don’t you hate it when your teacher(s) say, “just focus, it’s that easy”
And then you die inside
three guys walk into a bar. one asian one american, one black a girl walks in and says if all three of you D____ sizes dont add up to 12 inches i will shoot you first comes the american with 3 inches, then the black man with 8, it totals out to 11 and they look at the asian and say "oh no" he comes to 1 inch to top off the twelve she walks away and says ok, the asian says, your lucky she was hot so i had a boner
“One silent evening, a man walks to his fridge to get some food. He sets out a fork and napkin on the table. He reaches to grab a salad topped with olives and cheese. He sets the food down on the table and begins to add tomatoes, condiments, and...“ He is interrupted. “Why are you saying this aloud?” A young boy asks his father. The father replies with, “You wanted to know how to live on your own. But I guess experience is more helpful,” he says as he rushes the child out of the front door.
Hi how are you today
What's the difference between a dog and a rapist? At least the rapist adds a bit of foreplay before he starts humping people.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to catch some pale of water Jack come down and then Jill came tumbling after so they had a baby...