The 70+ Best ADD Jokes

Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there's no multiplying.

I was going to make a pun about math, but my answers never add up

I have OCD and ADD, so everything has to be perfect... but not for very long

What's the difference between a dog and a rapist? At least the rapist adds a bit of foreplay before he starts humping people.

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Father awaits the birth of his first child. The obstetrician: "Unfortunately he has no arms". "I'll love it all the same". But the obstetrician adds: "It is also without legs, trunk, head". "I'll love it all the same". Then the obstetrician confessed to him: "I'm sorry, but only this ear was born". "I'll love it all the same". And the obstetrician: "Talk to him closer: he's deaf!".

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Spanish is difficult when my mom gives me food she says toma and that's drink in English so I always drink my food

adding a 'gl' in front of camping doesn't make it any better. if you add a 'gl' infront of adolf hitler it doesn't make him a great guy

why could't the toilet paper cross the street

because it got stuck in a crack

“One silent evening, a man walks to his fridge to get some food. He sets out a fork and napkin on the table. He reaches to grab a salad topped with olives and cheese. He sets the food down on the table and begins to add tomatoes, condiments, and...“ He is interrupted. “Why are you saying this aloud?” A young boy asks his father. The father replies with, “You wanted to know how to live on your own. But I guess experience is more helpful,” he says as he rushes the child out of the front door.

Rules of Dark humor: 1. All subject matter can be used, nothing is off limits. 2. No saying "Me" or "My Life" as a joke. Nobody finds those funny. We want actual good and meaningful jokes. 3. Don't Repeat Previously Posted Jokes. If you are saying the same joke that the person right before you posted you are just begging for attention and nobody by any means likes that. I will add more in the future and be frequent on this site. - Sincerely, Zane

They should add an eleventh commandment to the Bible:

Thou shalt not f... altar boys

--> I only have 4 moods:

• fuck this • fuck that • fuck me • fuck you

--> I empathize with the above, but I have an additional 4 moods to add:

• fuck yeah • fuck no • fuck my life • fuck everything

--> and don't forget the inevitable

• fuck it

-->and for those who have just given up

• fuck

This is beautiful

Joe Biden walks into the White House kitchen. "Are those brownies, I smell?", he asks. "Indeed, they are.", he was told. "Gee", he says, "they smell nothing like Girl Scouts."