Conversation jokes

So a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and he asks the bartender for a drink. So he gives the guy a drink. So he gives the guy a drink. So he gives the guy a drink.

"-Hey dude, you got some beef? You want some beef from me?"

"- No thanks... I'm vegetarian!"

When the guy asks the girl if she's wet, she replies, "Yeah, milky knickers!"

Two terrorists walk into a bar.

The bartender asks what they are talking about. Terrorist 1 says, "We are going to kill 14k people and a donkey."

The Bartender asks, "Why a donkey?"

Then Terrorist 2 says, "See, I told you no one would care about the 14k people."

Dagger. This is to get your attention, for Dagger Jr. and I. We'd like to speak with you, and possibly Lynx, if we can find a time to all talk.

A guy finds a genie.

He says, "I wish I was better at talking to women."

"Poof!" the genie says, "You're gay!"

#1: What are you doing?

#2: Watching a movie.

#1: Oh, I know why, because you move-ie.

Wassup? (DYM 109)

Mom: Are you seriously gonna die?

Me: No. Don't worry. Suicide is the last thing I'll do.

Me: Knock knock.

My sister: Who's there?

Me: I eat mop.

My sister: I eat mop who?

My mind: I eat my poo.

My sister getting it.

I murdered my friend's brother because he kept saying "HEE HEE" like Michael Jackson when I was trying to have a serious conversation. I just found out he was disabled. That's a THRILLER.

What did one tampon say to the other tampon when they walked by each other on the street?

Nothing. They were both stuck up cunts!

My friend: Yo stupid.

Me: Is that right, and what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you Einstein?

My friend: *rolls eyes and says whatever.*

Me: Keep on rolling them, you might find your brain in there.

What did one brick say to the other? Never LEGO.

My friend was getting bullied so I went over and asked him to stop. It went a little bit like this:

Me: Dude, leave her alone. Him: Beat it, b*tch. *lots of arguing and swearing* Me: Ya know! The smartest thing that ever came outta your mouth was probably a penis. Him: *walks away*

What did the airplane say to the paper plane? Why do you look like a wimp?

Teacher: If you keep talking over me, I'll call your parents!

Orphan: You will?

I asked my mother about her mom.

She said she was in a better place. After that, I asked her where that place is. She didn't know, so I sent her to a better place.

My wife said I didn’t listen to a single thing she says.

What a weird way to start a conversation!

I'm as bored as heck, someone wanna chat?