Contest jokes

What type of game is Africa playing at the moment?

The Hunger Games!

Yo mama so ugly, when she went to an ugly contest, they told her, "No pros allowed."

Two magicians were in a competition. The first one did magic, and the second started counting down, "3, 2," but before he said the last number, he 1.

When I have a staring contest, I always win.

Every day, I see blind people who hate me.

My joke: You have to guess, answers come at 3:00. Why did the cow jump into space?

Hint... it smelled its favorite food 🍱 and saw its future!

That hint was technically the whole answer. Can you guess in 3 hours? Lol, I will be posting every time, and my giveaway starts at 5:00: my mega fly ride bat dragon 🐉 and five jungle eggs.

My name is Gwen, and I say rape jokes aren't funny. It's not funny for people to have sex with you without you agreeing. Also, they're getting old and NOT FUNNY! If anyone has something to say, please do. Comment if you agree or not. It's okay; I want to hear what you say. Just tell me if they are not funny.

We will have a contest to see how many people comment on saying they're good and funny, or people saying they're bad and terrible jokes and should not be made. May the best votes and comments win.

Let's try to get to either max likes or dislikes, your choice.

And duck jokes, who would win in a fight, a baby or a pacifist, presented by duck?

A French, a German, and an Italian make a race to see who resists the most in a room full of flies. The French starts, and after a quarter of an hour, comes out.

Then goes the German, who comes out after an hour. Finally, the Italian enters and comes out after five hours.

The French: "But how did you do it?"

The Italian: "I killed one."

The German: "So what?"

The Italian: "And then they were all busy for the funeral!"

Aiden's the best, in any contest, and no matter what, he'll kick your butt!

Four cows went to the county fair. They saw a sign that said that next year animals can enter a singing contest. They decided that they would enter next year. So they called their group the "4 Cs Quartet" since their names were Clementine, Candy, Cookie, and Columbine.

They discovered how they could win. After a discussion, they decided to eat as much corn as possible, so they would sing in perfect 4 part hominy.

When you went to an ugly competition, the judges said, "No professionals allowed."

Clowns were doing an egg contest, and one clown had their egg crack, and another clown said, "The yoke's on you!"

My pet parrot had an accident and lost both his wings... he is being very brave about it though... he is totally unflappable.

Mr. Beast challenge in Memphis be like: last one to survive the shooting wins 1 million dollars.

Confucius say: Never try win head-butting contest with mongoloid. You lose every time, and you only hurt yourself.

Unless he use Mongolian recurved bow... then you in trouble!

Do you want to hear a joke about paper?

Never mind, it's tear-able.

Yo momma is so ugly, when she tried to join the ugly contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals!"

My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheeseburgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through.

So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress, I guess! :D

My boyfriend entered a retarded contest, but they said no because they don’t allow perfectionists.

Yo mama's so fat, she wrestled a polar bear and won.