Your mom's so fat, Donald Trump built the wall around her.
Why do orphans not build houses in Minecraft? Because they want it to be realistic.
Pro tip: How to not hit your thumb with a hammer, make your child hold the nail.
Why are carpenters never horny after work?
Because they’ve already spent all day getting hammered and nailing things.
Are you a building?
Cuz I rate u 9/11
Americans prefer houses with basements. In fact, they're best cellars!
How did the carpenter do on his interview? He nailed it!
A man walking on his roof, carrying an axe. He drops it on someone below him and says, "Sorry, it was an axe-cident!"
I told my friend to fly a plane,
But he threw a ramp off a roof.
What’s the difference between a brick and redheads? bricks get laid
When is a door not a door?
When it’s ajar!
I don’t like stairs. They are always up to something.
Wanna hear a construction joke?
Nah, I'm still working on it.
I have a joke about construction.
I'm still working on it.
What do you call a bad piece of wood? Knotty.
Why does new pavement smell like butt?
In other words you can also call it asphalt.
Ass-phalt.
Well, we started off by ripping up ALL of the decking.
Abandon ship!
Floor on the road?
Why is a brick always hard? Because he seen the brick that was getting laid right next to him.
What happens when a cow farm gets destroyed, then built up again?
It'll be udder renovation!
