Construction jokes
What did the wire say to the electrician?
"Stop twisting my nuts!"
We used to be the tallest buildings in New York...
Then we took an Arab to the knee.
What did the screw say to the screw? We sure screwed things up!
Hot shingles in your neighborhood wanting to get nailed.
Why didn’t the girl like stairs?
They were always up to something.
What did the fish say when it ran into a wall?
Dam.
Why are carpenters never horny after work?
Because they’ve already spent all day getting hammered and nailing things.
Pro tip: How to not hit your thumb with a hammer, make your child hold the nail.
Your mom's so fat, Donald Trump built the wall around her.
Are you a building?
Cuz I rate you 9/11.
Why do orphans not build houses in Minecraft? Because they want it to be realistic.
What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, because they are walls.
I'll never forget my aunt's last words before she died: "Can you stop shaking the ladder, please?"
Americans prefer houses with basements. In fact, they're best cellars!
I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something :D
A man walking on his roof, carrying an axe. He drops it on someone below him and says, "Sorry, it was an axe-cident!"
How did the carpenter do on his interview? He nailed it!
I told my friend to fly a plane,
But he threw a ramp off a roof.
Did you know that the shovel was a groundbreaking invention?
What’s the difference between a brick and redheads? Bricks get laid.